


The Story of Us

by Mission_ARS



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angry Louis, Angst, Breakup, F/M, Gen, Hurt Liam, Hurt Niall, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulation, Mystery, Niall-centric, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12039027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mission_ARS/pseuds/Mission_ARS
Summary: Niall and Liam were the most romantic couple you could ever find. They were perfect for each other... or so the world thought.Then out of the blue on their anniversary Niall breaks up with Liam and doesn't give a reason why. Suddenly One Directions world is turned upside down as some secrets are revealed, but even more are kept. One Direction look close to breakingBut Niall's not the asshole everyone now thinks he is, and some secrets should never be kept.Title taken from Taylor Swift'sStory of us





	1. The Lucky Ones

_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,_

_How we met and the sparks flew instantly,_

_People would say, "They're the lucky ones."_

 

Liam held Niall's hand as they stared at the sun as it went down, he squeezed it gently causing Niall to turn and look at him.

"I love you," He whispered to Niall, before crushing his lips down on him. Against him, he could feel the corners of Niall's mouth twitch up in a smile.

Niall pulled away, smiling back at Liam, "I love you too. You're too perfect for me"

Liam shook his head, still smiling, "No, I think you're the perfect one,"

Niall laughed shaking his head.

"Don't brush it off Ni, you're the most perfect person anybody could ask for,"

Niall didn't say anything, just gave Liam a small peck on the lips.

Liam smiled at Niall softly. "You know I fell in love with you when I first lay eyes in you and I've been falling in love with you since," his smile warm as he stared into Niall's eyes, trying to earnestly convey the truth he felt in his heart

Niall blushed, "I didn't know how possible the saying of 'my love for you doubles every minute' was until I met you. I wish it could be you and me forever," he said wistfully, he knew he was being cheesy but somehow when he was with Liam, he couldn't care less

"All right lover boys, times up"

Niall and Liam broke apart and looked up at the three lads that had intruded on them.

"Would you mind? We were having a moment" Liam said, standing up and pulling Niall laughingly up with him.

"You're always having a moment,"Harry chuckled, "and you get cheesier with every declearation of love. Besides you guys promised we'd have a lads night to celebrate the first half of tour. We let you have your Nialler time, now let us have our time,"

"Sorry guy's, I guess we just lost track of the time," Niall apologised blushing as he caught Liam's eye. "I'll race you back?" he challenged, Harry.

"You're on!" Harry said, racing off with Niall and Liam laughed and joined in, fully intent on tackling Niall and letting Harry have his win,"

Louis and Zayn hung back.

"What's up Lou?"

"Just thinking, as cheesy as they are it's really beautiful what they have."

Zayn nodded, thinking of all the precious moments Niall and Liam had spent together. "It's truly something special. Not many people get a relationship like theirs. They're definately one of the lucky ones,"

Louis suddenly punched Zayn in the shoulder and Zayn pouted, hurt, "Ow! What was that for?" he whined.

"Don't tell them we said any of this. They'll only get more sappy,"

Zayn laughed, "Agreed,"

Watching Niall and Liam it seemed as if their love would last forever. It was almost a year since the two had finally started dating and they couldn't've been a happier couple. They really were perfect for each other. And even Louis and Zayn who were both happily in relationships of their own couldn't help feeling a little jealous. Watching Niall and Liam and love looked so easy.

Nobody was made for each other so perfectly as Liam and Niall were.

Nobody.


	2. I Don't Even Know What Page Your On

_I used to know my place was the spot next to you._

_Now I’m searching the room for an empty seat._

_Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on._

**2 months later**

"I can't believe it's only their year anniversary!" Zayn exclaimed, "It feels like they've been dating since forever,"

"I know," Harry agreed, "Niall's only told me about it like 100 times,"

"Liam's only told me like 1,000" Zayn chuckled

"Yeah! Liam was so nevous about their date at the restaurant. I don't really get it. They always go to this restaurant it's just like every other date they've gone on," Louis put in his bit,"I'll bet you they're there right now having the cheesiest date ever. Probably sharing the same noodles and doing the whole Lady and Tramp thing."

Harry and Zayn laughed.

"Or staring deep into each others eyes and telling each other how perfect they are," Zayn laughed

"Oh Liam! You're so manly and handsome and my hero. The man of my dreams. I don't deserve someone as perfect as you," Harry mocked pretending to swoon.

Picking up on the act, Louis caught Harry as he fell.

"Oh Niall! Your eyes are so enchanting I could get lost into them forever. Your beauty overwhelms me so much that I could just stare at you all day." Louis said exageratting his voice dramatically.

They all laughed, but Zayn's laughter cut short as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and grinned when he saw it was Liam.

"Look," he said showing the others the phone, "Liam's calling now, probably wants us to pick them up,"

"Orrrrr," Louis drew out the or for several seconds,"He's calling to tell you how amazing Niall is and how beautiful he looks right now even though he's probably got his faced stuffed with food."

"Hey, Li. How's the date going?" Zayn spoke into the phone, grinning. Louis' giving the whole _what-did-I-tell-you_ look.

_"_ _What date? Am I at the wrong restaurant? We agreed on Cargani's didn't we?"_

"What do you mean? Where are you?" Zayn frowned. Louis and Harry, noticing the sudden change, strained to hear what Liam was saying through the phone.

" _I'm at the restaurant. Niall's late. Is he with you guys?"_

"He's not here. He left ages ago. Li, I'm sure he's going to turn up soon. Probably got distracted by a fan or something,"

_"Soon?_ _He's an hour late. Something must be wrong. Can you guys look for him? I don't want to leave incase he shows up here,"_

"Li, mate don't panic. He might've just run into some traffic or something,"

_"No. No. He would have text me first. Besides it's bit long for traffic- Hang on,"_

"Zayn! What's going on?" Louis asked, unable to take not knowing, "Is something wrong"

"Shhhhh." Zayn snapped before turning his attention back to the phone, "Li, what's going on?"

" _Niall's here! Crap!"_

Zayn raised an eyebrow in confusion, "What? What is it?"

_"Gotta go. Bye"_

"Liam! Liam!" however it was too late. Zayn was already speaking to a diel tone, "Damn it!" he swore.

"Zayn what is going on? And don't you dare shhh me again!" Louis demanded placing his hands on his hips.

"Liam was just having a freak out cause Niall was late or something." Zayn explained, although he didn't really understand half of what was happening either.

"Why was Niall late?"Harry asked.

Zayn shrugged. "Dunno. Liam hung off as soon as he saw Niall. Maybe Niall ran into traffic, you know what it's like. Especially London,"

"He left early cause he wanted to pick up Liam's anniversary gift, maybe he saw something else he wanted to get Liam and got carried away." Louis suggested although it was more something Liam got caught up doin rather than Niall.

Zayn shrugged again,"I guess it's always possible, who knows. Liam'll probably tells us when he gets back,"

"Yeah," Louis said sarcastically, "We'll get to hear all about his date with Nialler until we can repeat it off by heart in our sleep,"

As much as I love them both, I really don't want to be told how wonderful either of them are all night. Right now can we just play some fifa or something?"

Harry offered out a controler which Louis took. Zayn picked up the other controler off the floor and flopped on the couch in front of the t.v

"Sure Haz, prepare to be annihilated!"

**Liam and Niall**

When Liam spotted Niall walking through the door's his heart lept but not in the _"_ _My boyfriends here, I can't believe he's my boyfriend"_ kind of way it usually did, but rather the, _"My_ _boyfriend looks like he's been through hell is he ok?"_ kind of way. Niall looked awful, he looked like he had been mugged or something, his clothes were ripped, messy and slightly wet, and his eyes were red like he had been crying.

"Niall are you okay?" Liam asked immediately when Niall approached the table, "What happened?"

Niall bit his lip and glanced away, something he did when he was nervous.

"Nothing's wrong right?" Liam breathed out, feeling very nervous. Niall flinced. "Why are you so wet?"

It had been drizzling a bit when Liam had first arrived, but it hadn't been that bad. Perhaps it had got worse though. Liam hadn't entirely been focused on the weather. Niall might have got stuck in the rain, but that didn't explain everything!

"And why are your clothes ripped?" Liam walked around the table and grabbed Niall's hand, only for Niall to flinch away. Now Liam was really worried.

"Liam" Niall whispered gravely, then stopped and wrapped his arms around himself, staring outside lost in thought.

"Niall, what is it?" Liam frowned. He could definitely sense something wasn't right. Niall was refusing to meet his eyes and every time Liam tried to approach him, Niall only took a step backwards.

"I- I want to break up with you," Niall said, his face not changing.

Liam felt as though heart been stabbed in the gut. 1,000 times over. With a blunt knife. That was hot and covered in poison. His eyes filled with shock and hurt which Niall couldn't see because he was still looking away from Liam.

"You've got to be joking!" Liam gaped, "Come on Ni. Please tell me this is just a joke,"

"I'm serious," Niall's fists clenched, "I can't be with you anymore,"

"Who put you up to this? Management? Paul? Louis?" Liam gripped the edge of the table tightly, "Is this a prank? It's not funny!"

"I'm serious," Niall's voice rose, "I'm breaking up with you,"

"Why?" Liam's jaw clenched tighly, "I thought everything was perfect between us," And Liam was right. He _knew_ he was right. Everything _was_ perfect between them. They may not have been dating for very long, but things had been perfect. What could have happened to have changed that?

Niall looked up briefly his once playful, joyful eyes were cold and serious. Liam couldn't tell whose eyes he was looking into but they weren't his Niall's.

"Liam... I... there's" Niall sighed, "It's complicated,"

"So what?" Liam's eyes flashed in anger, "You're just going to dump me without an explination?"

"It's not like that!"

"Then what is it like?" Liam hissed, Niall flinched slightly and his eyes immdiately diverted to the ground. He was trembling but Liam was too upset to notice.

Niall took a deep breath,"I don't love you anymore" than without even waiting for Liam to reply, he turned around and left.

Stunned Liam watched him leave, _Did... did that just happen?_ He wondered as he watched the boy go. Once Niall was out of sight, it seemed to hit Liam all at once. He took a shaky step back and collapsed into the chair. His eyes forever fixated on the doors Niall had just walked out of. Waiting. Waiting for Niall to come back.

Any minute now Niall, the real Niall, was going to walk through those doors. He'd stop and scan the room, giving that cute smile he has when his eyes lock with Liam. And Liam would stand up and pull Niall close and give him a kiss. Because what had just transpired was just a dream. It was some huge nightmare that Niall would come and save him from.

You can't be in love with a person one day and not the next.

Not like this.

**Zayn, Louis and Harry**

They were through their third fifa match when Louis's mobile rang. Pausing the game Louis leaped to grab his phone, grinning when he saw it was Liam.

"You love birds ready to be picked up now?" He called cheerfully into the reciever.

There was no response.

"Liam? Did you butt dial me again?"

Still no reply.

"Liam? Hello?"

" _Louis_ ," Liam's voice was tight, he sounded somewhat off, " _Niall broke up with me_ ,"

A chill spread through Louis. Everything went quiet. For a brief second the whole seemed to stop because Niall and Liam breaking up was so impossible.

"What..." he breathed out, not believing what he was hearing. This couldn't be right, it wasn't possible for it to be right. Niall and Liam loved each other. They were the perfect couple

" _He broke up with me Lou. Niall broke up with me_ ,"

Then everything began to move again as the world tipped on it's axis.

"Hold on, we're on our way," Louis said, already moving to grab his car keys and motioning the other two to follow him.

_What was going on?_


	3. Fall Out

_Oh a simple complecation, miscommunication_  
_leads to a fall out…_

The next morning held no joy for Liam, he had hoped it all was just a bad dream, but Niall wasn’t in the other hotel room like he usually was when Liam woke up. Liam could hardly remember what had happened after Niall had left, he could vaguly remember talking to Louis on the phone and Louis saying they were picking him up. He had a recollection of collapsing into Zayn’s arms in the car, but that was really it.

He didn’t want to get up, he felt drained. With him, Niall had taken all Liam’s strength when he had left. He looked it too. When Liam finally dragged himself out of bed the first thing he noticed were the great bags he had under his eyes. He quickly washed his face then headed out into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, he really didn’t feel like eating anything just yet.

“Goooood morning New York!” Louis sung out making Liam jump, having not heard the lad come in.

“We’re not in New York,” Liam grumbled.

“Don’t spoil it,” Louis said, “For now we can pretend,”

“How are you feeling?” Zayn asked, saving Liam from having to answer.

“I’m fine,” Liam responded, weakly trying to smile.

Zayn raised an eyebrow and gave Liam the _really?_ look that Liam really disliked. He wanted to pretend he was fine. Like the love of his life hadn’t ripped his heart and trown it in the mud then trod over it in football boots. Football boots with knifes.

Liam bulked, he didn't have the energy for this.

“You know I feel awful, I feel like I've been chewed up and vomited out,”

Liam leaned forward as his face crumpled and the tears broke free marching trumphantly down his face. How could Niall do this to him? Where had it all gone wrong? Harry quickly wrapped him in his arms, allowing Liam to sob in his chest.

“Why did he break up with me? Was I a bad boyfriend? What did I do wrong?”

“Li, none of that now. You were the perfect boyfriend. You treated him like a Prince,” Harry said

“Lili, he’s the ass. He doesn’t know how much he’s given up,”

“You can’t blame yourself the problem is with Niall not you.”

Each of the lads offered their own comfort, but each had his own questions. Now was not the time for questions though, now they were here to support. It was the least they could do for their mate.

_Why Niall? Why?_

Liam sniffled and pulled back wiping his eyes. “Thanks guys,” His voice was still weak but he wasn’t crying anymore. Barely. He was desperately trying to hold back tears, but at least he was trying. That was more than could be said from the heartbreaker himself…

**Niall**

_So many things that I wish you knew,_  
_So many walls up I can’t break through..._

Niall hadn’t dared go back to the house he shared with the other lads. He knew they would ask lots of questions. Questions he couldn’t answer.  
And deep down, he knew he couldn’t face Liam.

Not after what he, Niall, had done. He’d broken sweet Liam’s heart. His heart wretched painful at the memory of how broken and hurt Liam had looked. It had taken all of Niall’s will power not to kiss the pain away. Instead he had forced himself to turn around and walk away, before he broke and confessed everything on the spot.

Liam deserved someone better than Niall. Now they were finally over, Liam could find the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend while Niall watched heartbroken on the sidelines.

Instead, he’d paid Danielle a surprise visit. Maybe it wasn’t his smartest move, but he didn’t know where else he could go. There was no-one else nearby in whom he could confide and Danielle was a lovely girl (and twice as deserving of Liam than Niall) and Niall knew that she would help him. Danielle was just nice like that.

The next morning, Niall felt awful. He hadn’t slept well all night and there were tear tracks on his face still. He’d kept dreaming of losing Liam over and over. Only to realise when he woke up it wasn’t a dream. It was real.

“How are you feeling?” Danielle asked, as soon as he managed to slug into her kitchen.

Niall didn't even bother trying to sugar coat it, “Awful,”

Danielle sent him a pitying look and put the jug on, before joining him at her table.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Liam,” Niall replied mopely. Winching when he saw the look Danielle was giving him. “I don’t care, I don’t want to eat anything,”

“I’ll make us some toast then,” Danielle said, getting up again to put toast in the toaster and to pour them some coffee.

Niall spent the minutes glearing at the table. Jerking suddenly when she gently put the coffee and some toast in front of him.

“Are you ready to tell me?” she asked gently.

Niall shook his head, “I already told you,” He refused to look up so she could see the tears that were burning in his eyes. “I just broke up with the sweetest, most caring, least deserving of this, most stunning person on the planet,”

“That’s not what I meant. Why did you break up with Liam? And don’t think of feeding me that ‘I don’t love him’ crap you gave me last night because you’re sitting at my kitchen table miserable out of your mind because of your breakup. Clearly you are still in love with him. So why don’t you? Why are you moping in my kitchen being stupid?”

Niall shook his head, “You don’t get it,”

“Come on Niall,”

“I don’t deserve him,” Niall’s voice wavered, which he silently cursed himself for, “He deserves better than me,”

“Oh honey, I couldn’t think of anyone who’s a better match for Li than you,”

Niall shook his head, the first of many tears sliding down his cheek.

“I cheated him on him.” The tears were flowing freely now as Niall recollected the moment…

_Being shoved against a wall, rough lips attached to his._  
_Hands all over him moving down, down, down._  
_Hot breath on his ear, whispering to him._  
_“You’re too cute to resist you know.”_  
_“You were just begging for me, with that perky ass of yours,”_  
_“This is your fault, you were asking for it,”_  
_The sharp pain, biting his tongue hard enough to bleed, the wet tears._  
_-I’m so sorry Liam-_

Momentarily Niall’s lost in the flashback, he nearly misses Danielles gasp of shock that makes him feel all the more ashamed of himself. How stupid he’d been he’d always always believed his first would be with Liam and evendently everyone else had believed the same. It wasn’t like him to do something like that. Danielle probably felt repulsed by him. Was looking for an excuse to send him away. He could feel her judging him the putrid hatred in her eyes.  
Feeling defenceless he rushed to explain before she could send him away.

“I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to get him the perfect gift. There was this quaint little shop that had thease really cool Marvel and Manga stuff. I was going to get him a superman one…

_‘Nice choice’_  
_Niall jumped a little at the unexpected voice_  
_‘Sorry mate, didn’t mean to startle you,’_  
_‘It’s fine,’ Niall turned to face the brown haired tan lad who was standing behind him._  
_‘Name’s Jake,’ the lad stuck out his hand. ‘Niall,’ Niall grabbed it shaking the hand firmly._  
_‘Do you really like the beanie? I’m thinking about getting it for my boyfriend for our anniversary,’_  
_‘If you like that, we have some stuff out back that you might also like. They’re not out on the shelves yet, but being as cute as you are I think you can get first shot,’_  
_Niall smiled at the thought of getting Liam something else to go with the beanie. He could see Liam’s bright smile and the laugh he’d let out when he saw it was all superheroed themed, with a cheesy note saying Liam was Niall’s super hero. Niall could see it all._  
_He was still picturing Liam’s face when Jake lunged…_

“I was so stupid,” Niall explained to the silent Danielle, “I didn’t see any red flags and I followed him to the back of the shop. We got there and he came onto me. I tried to push him away when he first kissed me, but he was so strong. I couldn’t stop him. I told him I had a boyfriend but he refused to listem. So that’s why I broke up with him. Because Liam doesn’t deserve someone who would do that to him,”

“Niall!” Danielle quickly came around and wrapped her arms around him, “That’s rape! You didn’t want it,”

Niall shook and trembled, sobbing into her warm embrace, “I didn’t I swear, but he wouldn’t stop,”

“It’s ok, it’s not you’re fault,”

_‘Such a slut aren’t you’ whispered in his ear as the pain in Niall’s arse grew._  
_‘No,’_  
_The already hard grip on him tightning, ‘Yes you are, letting me fuck you on your boyfriends anniversary,’_  
_Shaking his head, ‘No, I love Liam, I don’t want this,’_  
_‘If you don’t want it so much why is it happening? Why would you let me do this? You’re a slut. Go on say,’_  
_Tears falling._  
_‘SAY IT’_

“But I couldn’t stop him,”

“That doesn’t make it you’re fault,”

“I could have faught harder. I should’ve noticed he was trying to flirt with me,”

“You told him you have a boyfirend,”

“STOP IT!” Niall exclaimed lunging from the chair in a sudden burst of anger, “IM PATHETIC, IM USELESS! I CHEATED ON HIM! CHEATED!!! ON LIAM WHO DOESN’T DESERVE THAT! I BROKE UP WITH HIM BECAUSE HE’S BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME. HE DESERVES BETTER THAN SOMEONE WHOS A WORTHLESS CHEATER!”

The moment over he crumples to the floor and sobs into his knees, whimpering quietly to himself that Danielle strained to hear “I screwed up. I screwed up so bad. I gave up on my entire world,” 

Neither of them noticed the brown haired girl standing in the doorway mouth hanging open in a shocked horror, Niall had his head wedged between his knees and Danielle was crouched beside him, offering what small comfort she could. Before either of them looked up the girl was gone.

By lunch time it was all over the news.


	4. Misscommunications

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_   
_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

“I can’t believe this! I can’t fucking believe this!” Zayn stormed stomping around their hotel. “That fithy bastard!”

“It might not be true,” Harry said from where he was seated on the couch, rubbing Liam’s back as he blackly read the article on his phone.

“Then how else do they know that Niall and Liam broke up?” Louis asked, “It’s only been a day, the only people who know are us.”

“Obviously Niall told someone and they told the pap’s,”

“I thought he didn’t want to sleep with me because he was a virgin,” Liam whispered, the room seemed to still at the sound of his voice, “I was going to make his first time really special.”

“That bastard!” Zayn growled, “That lying good for nothing heart breaking – “ his ranting would have continued had Niall not entered their hotel room at that moment, even so he managed to get in a snide whore.

Niall had frozen upon opening the door and finding all the lads gathered in the front room of their hotel. He hadn’t been prepared to face them and had hoped they had gone out.

Snatching the phone up and out of Liam’s hands Zayn stomped over to Niall and shoved it in his face. “This true?” he demanded, “Did you cheat on Liam?”

Niall seemed frozen, his whole face blank then slowly, refusing to look at Liam, he nodded.

“You little fucker,” Louis lunged at Niall grabbing him, everyone too caught up in the drama to notice how Niall flinched away. “LOOK AT HIM,” he yelled forcing Niall’s head to look at Liam, “He loves you! He LOVES you! And you just threw that away,”

“I’m sorry,” Niall whispered.

“Yeah well this time sorry isn’t good enough,” Louis snarled, letting Niall go. “You’ve really hurt him now.”

Niall’s broken “I know,” was missed as he vanished into his room.

The awkward tension didn’t pass between the lads. No-one could miss how Niall refused to talk to Liam unless he had to. He went as far out of his way as he possibly could to avoid Liam. It hurt Liam that his once sweet loving boyfriend couldn’t even look at him anymore. All he wanted was to fix whatever it was that had gone wrong between them, but Niall wouldn’t let him.

And when pictures of Niall with a boy none of the other members knew began to emerge Liam had to wonder if he was the only one who was hurting. If Niall truly didn’t care.

**Liam**

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_   
_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

It had barely been three day’s since and Liam knew he was already worrying the lads, but how was he supposed to move on? Every hour without Niall was another hour of agony. He felt so drained, he knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t keep on doing this to himself. But It just hurt so damned much. It was like without Niall there was no life, and with no life there was no Liam.

“Come on Li you need to eat,” Harry pleaded, but Liam just couldn’t. Food reminded him of Niall and Niall loved food. Sighing Harry set the plate down and left. Liam barely turned his head to look, already his was down in the black abyss of his thoughts.

He didn’t move again until the door burst open, and he looked up hopeful, so hopeful it would be Niall and he’d be able to corner him, confront him… something.

But it was only Dani….

“Danielle, what are you doing here?” Zayn frowned, the last thing Liam needed right now was another reminder of a failed relationship. While Dani and Liam were on good terms they hadn’t seen her for a while and he was worried what her showing up now could do for Liam’s state of mind.

“Where’s Niall?” Danielle demanded. At Niall’s name, Liam looked up.

She was still standing in the doorway, her chest heaving as if she’d been running and in her hand clutched a magizine, a picture of Niall and his new boyfriend, Jake or whatever on the front.

“Probably with his boyfriend,” Louis muttered sarcastically.

Danielle winced, “That’s why I want to talk to him,” she held up the magazine with the horrid picture on the front.

“Good luck with that.” Louis said dryly, “Believe me we’ve tried to talk to him about it but he won’t have anything to do with us,”

Something Liam couldn’t decipher lite up in Danielle’s eyes and her expression seemed a slight more relaxed. “So he told you then?” there was an almost excitement in her voice and without giving anyone a chance to continue, “Oh thank god!” she exclaimed almost happily, “I thought he never would, he was so upset. At least now you know it wasn’t his fault right?”

Liam couldn’t believe what he was hearing, not Niall’s fault? She was obviously refferring to something else but Liam had no idea of what. Niall had quite clearly not told them. Why would he? When he’s so determind to avoid us?

“Excuse me!” Zayn fumed, “Not Niall’s fault! The whole damned thing is his fault! He’s a slut!”

Danielle’s mouth dropped. In a second she’d gone from excited to deeply offended.

“Niall cheated on Liam with some other dude, what about that isn’t his fault?”

Dani’s face was white as she pursed her lips together, “Right because cheating on Liam on their anniversary is so something Niall would do,” she snarled, turning on her heels. “I thought you guys were better friends than that,”

And with that she was gone, before Liam could comprehend what she was saying. Before he could ask her what she was on about. What was it that she thought Niall had told him.

“I can’t believe she’s siding with him,” Zayn seethed,

“I didn’t even think her and Niall were that close,” Louis said,

Liam couldn’t care about any of that, he wanted to know what it was Dani had meant. He started from his seat but almost immediately hands were on him pushing him back down.

“No-no-no buddy don’t do that,” Louis said, “Come on mate, don’t listen to her, Niall is the one in the wrong here. The breakup was not you’re fault.”

Liam shook his head. They didn’t get it, they didn’t understand. And maybe he was a little to desperate to believe that there was something else going on, something he could fix. Because anything was better than the truth. Anything was better than thinking Niall simply didn’t love him.

**Danielle**

Niall was by the hotel’s private pool rather with his new supposed boyfriend when Danielle found them. She couldn’t help notcing the falseness in Niall’s smile as the two of them whispered together. Was it just her or was the boy holding Niall’s arm a tad too tight?

“Niall!” she called, waving him over, hoping to be able to get him alone. However to her immence frusteration the boyfriend came too.

“Niall who’s this?” he asked, turning to Niall.

“Danielle, she’s – she’s an ex of Liam’s,” Niall said. His eyes wide and pained, silently begging Dani to leave. But how could she when she knew the truth?

Trying to keep her voice light and friendly, “Is this the boy you were telling me about?” and when Niall slowly nodded giving her the painful truth, “How dare you! You didn’t tell me you two had got together,” She held her hand out, “I’m Dani,”

Niall’s boyfriend - no - abuser, grasped her hand in a firm handshake, “Jake,”

“I know,” she tried to flash him her most award winning smile, “Niall’s told me so much about you,”

“Really?” Jake asked, his voice cold and his hand on Niall’s arm tightened causing Niall to wince, “What have you been saying about me Niall?”

“Oh you know, about how much you’ve managed to captivate him,” Dani said, saving Niall from having to respond, “Niall I know you said he was hot, but you didn’t tell me he was this hot,”

“I-I… well you know,” Niall stuttered weakly.

Her heart ached but she didn’t know what she could do, she had made a promise.

“Mind if I borrow your boyfriend for a second?” she asked as sweetly as she could without vomiting all over his shoes.

Was it just her or did Jake’s eyes seem a little more colder for a second? 

“Sure,” his voice seemed a tone more chilly too, “Nini, I’m going to go back to our room, I’ll see you there,”

Niall nodded and gave Jake a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thanks,”

Jake gave Niall a tight squeeze and left, silently Danielle and Niall watched him walk away. Once he was out of earshot Niall turned to Dani a flat look on  
his face, “What’s all this about?”

“You know exactly what this is about,” she hissed not afraid to have her opninons known now that Jake was gone.

“It’s not what you think…”

“So you’re not dating the guy that raped you?”

Niall flinched and instantly looked around, probably checking to make sure no-one else over heard.

“It’s not important,”

“Isn’t it? How can you say that Niall? Don’t you think we – I – care about youuu-oh. Niall is that a bruise?” Standing so close to Niall’s face Dani could see  
the slight discolouration poorly concealed by makeup on his face.

“Look-“ he started but Dani cut him off.

“No you look,” she said, “You need to tell the other lads about this. I know you think it’s somehow your fault, it’s not. I promised you I won’t say a word without you’re permission and I won’t but for Gods sakes Niall man up and tell Liam the truth!”

“Truth about what?” a voice, Harry’s, asked suddenly by Dani’s ear.

She’d been so furious, she hadn’t noticed how much attention she was drawing, how loud she had become. She hadn’t noticed the look in Niall’s eyes, but damn she could see it now. For months after she’d flash back to those desperate and pleading and frightened eyes and feel guilty.

But there was a little part of her that didn’t feel guilty that was glad that she had opened an opportunity for Niall to tell at least one of the lads what was going on. It didn’t last for long though. Niall made no move to reply, his breathing seemed to be getting heavier. His mouth was open and his cheast was heaving. There was a look of pure panic on his face.

“What’s going on?” Harry asked, but Danielle wasn’t listening.

Niall’s breathing was coming quicker and quicker and he wasn’t able to seem to catch his breathe. She didn’t know what was happening and she herself was beginning to panic. Thankfully Harry seen this before and he knew what to do.

“Help me set him down,” He insturcted Dani, “he’s having a panic attack. Niall, Niall it’s okay buddy we’re with you ok? Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Niall shook his head.

“Okay, that’s okay. Just take some deep breaths okay? You’re okay. You’re alright,”

Dani had no idea how Harry could remain so calm, she was thankful that he could. Feeling a bit useless she sat next to Niall rubbing his back gently. It took a while but Harry eventually managed to get Niall to somewhat calm down and his breathing returned to normal allthough he was shaking all over.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Niall whispered a few quite tears stealing down his face.

“Shhhh it’s okay,” Harry soothed, “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now? Is this because of Liam?”

Niall shook his head, “I have- I – I have to go now,” and before either Dani or Harry could say another word he sprinted off.

"That's strange, I've only seen that happen when he's claustrophobic - but this is an open space" Harry muttered, Danielle though he was mostly talking to himself so she said nothing. Besides she was still too stunned at the events that had just passed.

"Do you know what happened?"

Danielle shook her head. The event still fresh in her mind. She was never going to betray Niall like that again. She took off through the now empty pool room, not even noticing how the security guards had cleared it to give Niall privacy. How could she break a promise when it would cause that?

Meanwhile Harry stared after her, confused, wondering what the hell was going on. His friends were slipping away and he couldn’t figure out why.


	5. So Many Things I Wish You Knew

_How'd we end up this way?_  
_See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,_  
_And you're doing your best to avoid me._

It was a rare occasion to see Niall in their hotel anymore and every time they did it was awkward and uncomfortable. Zayn and Louis were still angry and protective, the betrayal seemed to hurt more for them than it did for Liam. Niall avoiding them only fueled the anger, it told them he knew what he’d done was wrong and was too cowardly to face them. Instead he flaunted his relationship with his boyfriend in Liam’s face and it angered Zayn and Louis to no end.

Harry simply sat on the sidelines and watched. He never mentioned the panic attack to the other lads, or Dani’s strange behaviour afterwards. She knew, he knew she knew what had caused Niall’s panic attack. He had tried to follow Niall to find out what was going on and as a result bumped into Niall’s boyfriend. Jake was charming and easy to talk to, if a bit possessive, Harry should like him. For some reason he just couldn’t, there was nothing wrong with Jake but something seemed to make Harry want to take a step back. He couldn’t understand it. Maybe it was because Jake had the air of a predator to him, which didn't make sense because Jake really was nice. Maybe it was just the circumstances that they had met under, and they were bestfriends or something in another life.

Liam only wanted his bestfriend back, it was bad enough he’d lost his boyfriend, he didn’t want to lose his bestfriend as well. No matter what effort he made -though, Niall remained as distant as ever. No matter how hard Liam tried to get them to just talk, so he could figure out what was going on, Niall would come up with an excuse or Jake would pop up out of nowhere and then Niall would disappear and Liam would have lost another chance. Niall’s relationship with Jake hurt too, and he’d stopped using social media so much to avoid seeing them plastered everywhere. Maybe Liam was biased, maybe it was because he was still in love with Niall, but he swore Niall was a lot happier when he was with him.

He was beginning to move on though, and he taken to meeting up with this girl every day in the park to talk. They weren’t dating, she had a boyfriend and he was still very much in love with Niall, but they had grown quite close in the past few day’s. It helped talking to Sophia, she understood what he was going through, understood that despite how betrayed he was he still loved Niall. She didn’t push him to forget Niall like Zayn and Louis did, but helped him slowly move past the pain. It helped having someone who wasn't involved to talk to.

Of course they’d caught the media’s eye, and there were rumurs everywhere. He didn’t really care. There was no story there so it didn’t bother him. Part of it hoped Niall would see it and see what he was missing out on and come back. Of course that was only a dream. Liam could hope all he liked but Niall was never going to go back to him.

“You should date her,” Zayn said, watching Liam intently. Liam shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“You should,” Louis agreed, “It’s about time you got over Niall,”

“Lads, we’re just friends, she’s quite happy being just friends and so am I,”

“You need to move on man,” Zayn groaned ignoring the cut throat guestures Harry was giving him, “Niall fucked you over, he cheated on you and dumped you without an explination. You deserve someone better,”

“He’s right you know,” Niall said, he’d slipped into the room without anyone but Harry noticing and was standing in the doorway, eyes cast down refusing to look at anyone. He was on his way to see Jake and couldn’t help but overhear.

Liam uncomfortably looked at his clothes picking at a loose thread that suddenly seemed very intresting. He hadn’t said anything, but he felt guilty for being a part of it.

“She’s pretty and you guys look so cute together,” Niall’s smile was strained, but none of the lads seemed to notice it. “Jake showed me the pictures. She certainly deserves you more than I do,”

Liam couldn’t bare it any longer, “But I only love you,” he burst out, “How can you say she deserves me more when the only person I want is you?”  
Niall took a step back, “You shouldn’t,”

“Why not? I don’t care if you have a new boyfriend I still love you. If not as a boyfriend than as a bestfriend. We hardly see each other anymore, you can hardly stand to look at me. It feels like I’ve not only lost my boyfriend but my bestfriend as well. I understand if you don’t want to leave Jake but can’t you give me my bestfriend back. Can’t you do that at least?”

Niall said nothing his eyes glistened with unshead tears and Liam made the stupidest choice in his entire life.

He surged forward and kissed Niall.

He never knew why he did maybe because he knew Niall still loved him as much as Liam loved Niall. Perhaps he was trying to comfort him, tell him it was okay. Whatever it was it didn’t matter because he kissed Niall. He kissed him.

And Niall kissed back.

* * *

 

Liam had forgotten what it was like to kiss Niall. And once he’d started he didn’t want to stop and he kissed him again. When they were both out of breath and panting for air Liam leaned his forhead against Nialls, “Come back to me. Leave Jake and stay with me. I know you want to.”

And he broke the spell.

Niall backed away, “No, no, no. I can’t.”

Liam wanted to kill himself, he’d ruined it, “Please Niall, I love you,”

“I don’t-”

“Don’t feed us this bull about not loving him,” Zayn snarled, reminding Liam they weren’t alone, “You kissed him back. Why would you do that if you didn’t love him?”

In all the drama with everyone’s attention focused on Liam and Niall, unoticed by any of the lads a figure slipped into the room and stood silently by the  
door.

“No, no, no. I didn’t. I didn’t. Oh God Jakes going to-”

“Jake’s going to what?” said man said.

Liam jumped. They all jumped. Nobody had noticed him there. Niall flinched back and seemed to curl more in on himself.

“Nothing, I’m so sorry,” Niall whimpered, tears falling down his face.

Liam felt bad. Niall must really love Jake if he was this upset over a simple kiss. He should have known better than to have kissed Niall when he knew he was in another relationship.

“It was my fault. I thought Niall might still hold a small spark for me and so I kissed him. He freaked out immediately, clearly he loves you now. I over stepped my bounds. I’m sorry.” The last part was directed towards Niall as much as it was directed towards Jake.

“What?” Louis hissed but Liam shhhed him

“That true Niall?”

Niall nodded frantically, “Yes, but it didn’t mean anything for me anymore. I love you and only you,”

It was like an arrow in Liam’s heart. He’d been holding some hope that Niall might still love him and it hurt to know he didn’t. Not anymore. Maybe never.  
Jake hummned and approached Niall, “You know I’ve been hearing some intresting things lately. What have you been saying to you’re friends about me?”

“Nothing,” Niall squeaked.

“Really?” In a quick movement Jake shoved Niall into the wall, the loud bang made the bystanders wince. Jake pressed his hips into Niall’s tightly and kissed him possesivly “You want this right?”

“Jake,” Niall gasped.

“You want this Right?” Jake asked, more forcefully as he kissed down Niall’s neck. Liam could hardly bare to watch, yet he was painfully aware of every movement between Niall and Jake.

“Y-yes,” Niall whispered, moaning as Jake’s leg was shoved between his thighs, rubbing his groin.

“So you’re willing?”

“I-I always have been,” Niall’s eyes sparkled. The other’s thought it was lust, only Jake and Niall knew they were tears.

“Good,” Jake said grabbing Niall and dragging him off.

Liam sat down, his legs felt shaky and he felt winded. Like he’d been sucker punched in the gut.

“Slut,” Zayn muttered.

“He’s a bastard Li and you’re well rid of him,” Louis said.

“I can’t believe he did that to you, he practically threw himself in Jake’s arms when he knows how much you still love him!” Zayn fumed.

“Yeah, and what did Jake mean about Niall being willing, God they were practically humping right in front of us.”

Liam shrugged, he had no clue.

Harry who had been silent up until that point spoke up, “Do you think it hurt?”

“What?”

“Being thrown against the wall? Do you think it hurt? It sounded really loud,”

It remained silent after that until Liam couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“I miss him.”

“Li-“ Louis started.

“No” Liam quickly cut him off, “I mean I miss him. I miss the real him, the smiling happy go lucky him. Lads when was the last time he smiled?”

“Just today,” Zayn frowned, “Why?”

“I mean a real smile, all he’s smiles seem fake these days. I feel like we’re all pushing him away.”

“We’re not,” Zayn said shortly, “We asked him if he wanted to come to town with us tonight and he said no.”

“Right, because you so made him feel welcomed to come along and join,” Liam rolled his eyes, “He’s with Dani all the time now because we’re pushing him away. When was the last time any of us had a decent conversation with him?”

“Fine,” Zayn relented, “I’ll try harder,”

“I will too,”

“And me,”

Liam could only hope it would be enough to get even the tiniest part of Niall back.

**Harry**

Harry had been trying, ever since the panic attack, he’d really been trying to re-conect with Niall. He could feel that there was something going on that  
Niall wasn’t telling them about. Something Dani knew and no-one else seemed to. No matter how hard he pressed and pressed her she wouldn’t give. Just give him this sympathetic look and tell him to talk to Niall.

Only thing was, Niall was doing his best to avoid Harry and the other lads it seemed. If Niall wasn’t with his boyfriend than he was with Dani. He rarely  
went out anymore. Not that Harry blamed him, there were still many Niam fans who were disappointed over the breakup and most of them blamed Niall. A couple of times, Harry had borne witness to the fans hurling abuse or the occasional one who would try to attack him and be restrained by security. Harry had watched from the sidelines, never needing to step in because security had it under control, and every time he would go to comfort Niall afterwards, Niall would disappear before Harry could even get close.

In the end he decided he’d talk to Jake, so while Niall was somewhere with Dani. Harry managed to corner him. He just wanted to find out what was wrong with Niall. He wanted to fix whatever had made Niall feel as if he couldn’t trust them.

“What do you want man, can’t you see I’m busy?”

“I just needed to talk to you,” Harry peered round Jakes shoulder hoping Jake would get the hint and let him in. He’d rather not talk about this in a hotel hallway.

“What about?” Jake frowned, folding his arms. Harry suddenly became very aware of how large Jake was.

Harry swallowed and licked his suddenly dry lips. “N-Niall, it’s about Niall.”

“Yeah?”

“He’s just been different lately and I was… maybe wondering if you might… maybe… know why? Since you’re like his boyfriend and… yeah…”

“He hasn’t seemed very different to me,”

Harry breathed out, maybe it had all been in his head, “It’s just… that… I thought he’d been avoiding us,”

Jake let out a deep chuckle, a big bellowing laugh, “Oh yeah that. Well I’m not surprised.” He moved to shut to door, “Now if that was all you came for,” _aka buzz off and don’t bother me._ Harry didnt know what was he had interrupted Jake in but it must have been important because Jake was inceadibly anxious to get rid of Harry for some reason.

“I – he – what?” Harry darted through the door, before Jake shut it in his face, “So- so he was… avoiding us?”

The apartment was neat, except for a small corner that seemed almost out of place. Like someone had had a violent rage and contained it in the corner, there was a picture frame crooked on the wall and the small vase table was tipped over with, the flowers were drooping and the carpet was still wet from the spilt water. There was also a spot of tomatoe sauce on the floor? Yet the rest of the apartment was clean, it seemed out of place and odd.

“Well Yeah,” Jake responded, suddenly blocking Harry’s good view of the corner, “I thought that had been kinda obvious,”

“I- but why?”

“Why?” Jake’s laugh was bitter and sent chills down Harry’s spine, “Maybe because of how crap you guys have been treating him?”

“Wh-what?”

“Oh come on! You can’t say you haven’t noticed. Zayn and Louis both blame Niall for breaking up with Liam, they can barely stay in the same room as him and they’ve calling him slut and whore all the time… And Liam, he’s always making Niall uncomfortable by trying to flirt with him and get back together with him. Dude can’t take a hint. Niall’s mine, he had his chance and he lost it. And then there’s you, the fake, the backstabber. You’re always following him around and trying to be his friend what friend watches their friend being attacked by angry fans and does nothing, Niall comes back with brusies from them that’s how bad it gets and you’ve stood by and done nothing. Not once have you stood up for him and that hurts him more than anything else. At least Zayn and Louis are up front and honest, but you can’t even do that. You have to pretend to be his friend and then leave him when he most needs one. It’s no wonder he hates you,”

Harry’s head was reeling and he felt dizzy. Were they really that bad? Had they hurt him that badly that Niall couldn’t stand them anymore. He hadn’t meant to make Niall think that. He truly had been trying to be Niall’s friend. And that stuff about the fans… was that true? Harry hadn’t noticed they’d been targeting him. Oh God. Jake was right he really was a terrible friend.

“He hates us,”

Jake looked at Harry like he was think, “Yeah he does, it’s no wonder he’s moving out, now if you don’t mind,” He started pushing Harry back out the door. Harry was too shocked to do anything other than let him.

“What do you mean move out?” But Jake didn’t respond only slammed and locked the door after shoving Harry into the hallway. Harry stumbled and fell not doing anything to stop it. It was nothing less than he deserved if what Jake had said was true.

Slowly he sat up and leaning against the wall he cried.

They’d really stuffed up and he had no idea how they were going to make amends.

**Zayn and Niall**

_I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,_  
_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,_  
_But you held your pride like you should've held me._

Zayn had changed his mind about going to hang in the town with the other lads, he was tired and not up for running into any fans. It wouldn’t be fair on them if he accidently snapped at one of them after one photo too many, one question to personal or one signature extra.  
Instead he’d turned around in the hotel lobby and snuck back up to their floor. He’d expected to have their rooms to himself.

Of course he’d forgotten about Niall.

So now here he was sitting awkwardly on the seat across from Niall watching Niall read… a book… Niall who had only willing read books when he had too.

And now here he was reading a medical textbook of all things.

Niall hadn’t once looked up at him at all and Zayn had tired of scrolling through social media had settled for watching him. Liam had said Niall’s smiles had all been false recently, and Zayn was reluctant to admit that blinded by his anger there was a lot he hadn’t noticed about Niall recently.

So here he was sitting in silence, watching Niall read a book of all things and trying to figure out what had changed. Aside from the fact Niall had suddenly turned into a cheating whore who flauted his relationship in poor broken-hearted Liam’s face. -Even Zayn admitted he was bitter.

He was hurt. He felt betrayed. Niall and Liam had been the perfect couple until Niall had ruined it. It had been a shock, one he still couldn’t get over it. Cheating had gone entirly against Niall’s nature. Maybe he should’ve known.

“Good book?” he asked, suddenly sick of the silence, he was working himself up and he needed something to calm himself down before he said something he regretted.

Niall never lifted his head his head and simply hummed a reply. That wasn’t what Zayn had wanted.

“So howcome you’re reading,” Zayn peered at the book title, “Hemorrhages and broken bones?”

Finally Niall looked up slaming the book shut, “Zayn what do you want?”

“Just to chat,”

Niall rolled his eyes and went to open the book back up.

“I know I haven’t been the nicest to you-“ Zayn started hurridly his eyes rapidly searching Niall’s face. There was something funny about it… -“But I’m  
trying to make amends here,”

“What is there to talk about Zayn?” Niall said tiredly. “You guys all – Hey! What are you doing?”

Zayn had been staring intently at Niall’s perfectly coloured face – Too perfectly coloured. He’d reached his hand out and run his thumb over Niall’s jaw. When his thumb had come back coated in a light fleashy colour that matched Niall’s skin more than Zayn’s own he knew.

“Why are you wearing makeup?”

Niall’s eyes dropped down, “I – I’m not,”

“I have the proof right here,” Zayn held up his thumb showing Niall the conceler Zayn had rubbed off.

Niall’s eyes flashed with something anger? Fear? But it was gone before Zayn could identify what it was. “What do you care anyway. Last I heard you wanted nothing to do with me. So don’t pretend to care when you’re clearly doing it because Liam asked you to.”

“I care, I’ve always cared. Liam’s not forcing me to do anything.” If that was so true why did the words sound so dry in his mouth? Why did he feel like a liar?

“Right!” Niall rolled his eyes, “That’s the best one I’ve heard all day,”

“I’ve got make up remover in the bathroom so let’s test to see if you’re wearing makeup or not,” Zayn said changing the topic so he might stop feeling so guilty. He’d been so focused on making sure Liam was okay he hadn’t bothered to see if Niall was too.

“Zayn,” Niall whined trying to pull away as Zayn dragged him into the bathroom. “Can’t you just leave it and let bygones be bygones?” He hissed as he finally wretched his arm out of Zayn’s grasp. Zayn ignored it although he couldn’t deny being slightly concerned. He wasn’t holding Niall that hard.

“Stand still,” he instructed and he was pleased to see Niall stand still even though he rolled his eyes. He began dabbing Niall’s face, holding his head still as Niall continually flinched away.

“Why do you have make up remover anyway?” Niall asked.

“For after concerts and photo shoots,” Zayn responded, stepping back to admire his work before his mouth dropped. The anger he’d felt before spiked but for an entirly different reason. There was a black blooming bruise on Niall’s left cheek and a slightly green one on his jaw. “Who did this?”

Niall wrapped his arms around himself, he suddenly seemed so much smaller. “No-one, I fell,”

“You’re lying,” It wasn’t an accusation, it was a statement.

“Why do you care?”

“What?”

“Why do you care? You haven’t before. Face it you hate me Zayn. To you I’m the whore who cheated on Liam. I don’t blame you for hating me, but why the hell do you care now? According to you I shouldn’t be here!” Tears were pooling in Niall’s eyes and he swept them away angrily.

“I never stopped caring!” Zayn hated how guilty he was feeling. Niall was right Zayn had been horrible to him. “I don’t hate you Niall. I never could. I just hate what you did. You hurt Liam really badly, but I could never ever hate you. You’re one of my best friends. Remember that time I got into a fight with management and you mimiked them and got me laughing?”

A small smile spread across Niall’s face, “I just wanted to cheer you up,”

“You do, You’re always looking out for us and lifting our spirts Ni. You make the greyest days full of colour,”

Niall grinned a true grin, not a forced smile, but then it faded and a look of sorrow crossed his face. “I’m moving out,”

Zayn blinked, thrown slightly off “What?”

“I don’t feel comfortable here anymore, and Jake asked me to move in with him,” Niall took a deep breath, his eye searching Zayns, “So I said yes,”

“But why? Ni, we still love you,”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Niall laughed bitterly, “Today’s been the first day someone’s been actually civil to me.”

“Can’t I stop you?”

“No” _Please do, please make me stay._ “Now if you excuse me I need to put the cover up back on,”

“You never did tell me where you got that bruise,” Zayn’s stomache felt cold. There was something going on here. _Why couldn’t Niall say where he got it? Why did he have to put it back on?_

“I told you I fell,”

Zayn shivered at how unlike Niall those words sounded. But he let him go, he let him walk away. He should have called Niall back and held him until he  
told the truth. Instead he held his pride.


	6. Who Can Care Less

_Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,_   
_Why are we pretending this is nothing?_

Niall was slipping and as fine as he pretended to be he couldn’t hide the abuse from everyone. The bruises were being noticed by costume and makeup and while they were explained away with a laugh and a fake smile, I fell, a fan grabbed me, I slipped, I tripped, I walked into a door they were too frequent and too many for them to be a secret. Eventually they stopped asking questions instead pursing their lips together and shaking their heads as the worked to cover the next set of bruises.

They Knew. They just didn’t know who or why. But they were worried, everyone loved Niall, who had never ceased to make them smile. To see him so obliterated of joy was worrying and they took their concerns to the first person they could think of. Paul.

Paul looked into it, he’d been intending to talk to Niall because he was worried. Now he had a reason and Paul was sure he had a pretty good idea just who was causing these bruises.

He called Niall in to his hotel room the floor below Niall to talk to him. He didn’t even hesitate once Niall had sat down, he got straight to the point.

“So of the staff have been sending back concerning remarks Niall,” He watched Niall carefully, who was busy looking at his hands. When Niall didn’t say anything he added, “You know what I’m talking about don’t you? You know they’re worried about all the bruises.”

“I fell,”

“Right,” Paul said, “And the lads tell me you’ve moved in with your boyfriend. It’s funny I don’t remember you being this clumsy when you were dating Liam,”

That got a reaction, Niall’s head shot up and he looked up at Paul with wide pleading eyes. He knew Paul knew, and he was silently pleading with Paul to stop what he was doing. Stop before he spoke of the elephant in the room.

“Is Jake abusing you Niall?”

“Jake loves me,” Niall said quickly, “I’m lucky he even puts up with me,”

“He shouldn’t have to ‘put up with you’ as you so eloquently put it,” Paul said furious. God, it’d only been three weeks, how could Jake have convinced Niall that he was something to be ‘put up with’ in such a short space of time. “If he truly loved you, he’d enjoy your company instead of feeling like he had to put up with it.”

“I can’t go back to Liam,” Niall whispered, “I know that’s what you’re trying to make me do,”

“I’m not making you do anything. I just want to know where are those bruises coming from,”

“What bruises?”

“The one’s you’re hiding beneath your shirt. The ones under your makeup. The ones that have every damned staff member worried about you.”

“I’m not hiding any bruises under my shirt,”

“Then you won’t mind taking it off then,” Paul said, not missing a beat, and Niall broke.

He burst into tears, “It’s nothing less than I deserve.”

Paul rushed forward and enveloped the poor boy in a hug, “No-one deserves to be hit Niall,”

They sat like that for hours, Niall collapsed sobbing against Pauls cheast and Paul rubbing his back whispering soothing comments in his ear. Whist making murderous plans in his head.

When he felt Niall had calmed down a bit, he pulled back and said “You need to break up with him.”

Niall tensed immediately. He had known Niall wouldn’t take it well, but it had to be done. He couldn’t let this continue any longer. “I know you’re scared and that he’s threatened you, which is why you should tell the lads. I’ll make sure he’s fired and he’ll be evoked from his hotel room. I’ll asign more guards to proctect you lads. You can’t go back to him though Niall.”

“No,”

“Niall…”

“NO.” more firmly this time, “I can’t break up with him. And you can’t tell anyone either. I – It’s not even that bad. I promise. Just a few bruises that’s all and it’s not even like I don’t deserve them-,”

“Niall-“

“- I mean look at us we’re getting worked up over practically nothing. I’m fine. I know I was upset but I’m really fine. It’s just be rough. But I’m – I’m fine. I am. Really. You can’t tell anyone Paul. If you do I’ll – I’ll fire you. It’s in your contract that anything we tell you can be made confidentual if we make it so this is confidentual. You can’t tell anyone. Not that they’d care anyway because there’s nothing going on. Nothing. Nothing I can’t handle anyway. So what if I have a few bruises? People get bruises all the time. I’m fine.”

Paul clenched his teeth, hating what he was hearing. He felt suddenly trapped because he had signed a confidentually agreement and he couldn’t just give up his job. He needed the money and if Niall fired him for breaking his contract then it was more than likely that people would find out why. And as much as Paul hated management and what they’d probably say, he loved his boys and the last thing they needed was a scandel right now. Besides if things started looking worse he could always change his mind, he reasoned with himself and there were plenty of ways he could keep a closer eye on the lad.

“Fine,” he growled out, “But I want you to tell at least one of the lads, and I’m going to boost your security. If anything changes and I mean anything, than I will interfer. You will break up with him though Niall. If you’re still together by the end of tour…” he let the threat hang.

Niall nodded and shot for the door, “I’m fine Paul,” his smile was strained and false.

Paul sighed and rubbed his face in his hands.

_Kid you’re anything but fine._

**Niall**

_I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,_   
_I've never heard silence quite this loud._

Niall walked through the empty hallway his head down and shoulders hunched. He was late, but that didn’t stop him from stopping in the middle of the doorway to the social area the hotel had. He didn’t enter, just stood in the shadows of the doorway and peered in. Watching Liam laughing and chatting with the other lads.

His heart ached more than any bruise on his body ever could. Since he’d broken up with Liam he’d only rarely seen the lads. Since he had moved out, he was pretty sure he’d only seen them once since. It had been ages since he’d had a decent conversation with any of them, the last time was probably with Zayn.

Even at rehearsals and signings, they barely spoken then, although to be fair Niall had gone out of his way to make sure he didn’t. Questions were bad enough from the staff, but he knew he wouldn’t get away with anything if the lads knew. It was imperetive that they didn’t know. They already hated him, they didn’t need to know how pathetic he was as well.

A great eternal silence existed between them. Standing watching them laughing together and Niall missed it. He missed them. If only he could talk to them, tell them… but he couldn’t.

I can’t ever tell them, they already think I’m a whore, they don’t need to think I a weak coward as well. Besides Jake said if I told he’d sell picutres of me to the highest bidder. What would the world think of me then?

“There you are!”

Niall jumped and spun around, “J-Jake,”

“Niall I’ve been looking all over for you.” The false sincerity. Niall flinced as Jake gripped his arm tight, he could feel it starting to go numb. He made no sound of protest or struggled as Jake began leading him back to their room.

“I-I’m sorry, I was with Paul and we – we went over time,”

“That doesn’t explain why I found you standing watching,”

“I-“ I missed him, “I miss hanging out with the lads.”

Jake sighed, patronizing, “Niall we’ve talked about this,”

They were nearly at their hotel room and Niall’s hands had begun to shake. He wanted to run but Jake’s grip immobalized him.

“I know. It’s just – Jake they’re my friends,”

“Were your friends you mean. Look at how easily they turned on you. You told me they’ve never even once tried to hear your side of the story. Now would friends do that? HUH? WOULD THEY?” Jake yanked Niall’s arm extra hard. Niall stumbled tripping over his own feet before managing to regain his footing. They were at their room now. Now Niall was truly afraid.

“They don’t love you. Probably never did.” Jake shoved Niall through the door and locked it behind him.

“No – no – no –no-no,” Niall whispered shaking his head furiously.

“What can’t accept you’re unlovable?” Jake mocked, “Come on Liam hasn’t even tried that hard to get you back. He looks like the romantic guesture type, but I don’t see any. He’s glad to be rid of you.”

No, it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. Liam loved Niall – or at least he used to.

“And the other lads, look at how angry they are, how mad. This isn’t just anger because you cheated on Liam who was too good for you in the first place, this is anger that’s been sitting dormant for years. You know what I think?” Jake pushed Niall causing him to stumble back over a chair, “I think they’ve finally found their reason to get rid of you,”

“But Harry-“ Niall tried weakly

“Harry’s trying to be you’re friend?” Jake laughed, kicking Niall in the knee, “Sure, he’s never once stood up to those fans who’ve been bullying you. What a great friend,”

A punch this time, “He came here just before you moved out,”

Ice ran through Niall’s heart, since then Harry had stopped trying to be friendly towards him and even (or was Niall’s mind playing ticks on him) avoiding him. Even though the lack of attention made it easier to hide Niall had been hurt. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing, he just wanted to say how happy he was you were moving out. Thanked me for taking you off of their hands even. He couldn’t wait to get rid of you,”

“You – you’re lying,”

Niall felt his feet leave the floor as he was lifted up by his collar and slammed into the wall.

“Now listen here bitch. I have tried to be patient with you but you just have to test me don’t you? I don’t know how Liam put up with you. You’re pathetic, weak, a coward!”

Niall could feel the hardness pressing into his hips and he knew what would happen next. He knew Jake got off on his terror, on the absolute power he held over Niall. And when Niall was dragged into their room and thrown onto their shared bed, he couldn’t say he was surprised.

After all this was their norm.

**Louis**

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_   
_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

Louis had hated Niall when he’d learned Niall had cheated on Liam. He’d loathed him and he was ashamed to admit, he’d been more than cruel to the younger boy. He’d ben so betrayed, because his very idea of who Niall was had been betrayed. Niall was the innoccent one, the uncorruptable one. Out of all of them, Niall was the least likely to cheat and now that he had it struck all of them like a dagger.

One Direction were hardly functioning together any longer, it was like a dagger had been sliced through the ties that held them as friends. And the only reason why we’re still together is because we don’t want to let the fans down. The tension between the five of them was undeniable. They were slowly and painfully tearing apart and it was all Niall’s fault. But despte all that. Despite everything Niall had done, to them, to Liam; despite all the pain he had caused; there was a traitorous part of him that missed Niall. Somehow despite everything, there was a piece of Louis that missed Niall and wished he would come back. A piece of him wished things would go back to normal; that they’d become a group of best lads again, instead of this fake torn group they’d become.

Louis hated that part of himself, because he knew that there was no way they could go back to what they once were. In one night Niall had taken everything they were and ripped it to shreads. He hadn’t just destroyed Liam, he had destroyed One Direction. Louis hated Niall for that. For destroying them and then walking away like the past few years together were nothing. And he hated that he didn’t really hate Niall at all. Because he should. One look at Liam moping in their apartment should have been enough for Louis to hate Niall’s guts enough to tear them from his body and wrap them around his smug neck and choke some sense into Niall. Instead, all Louis wanted to do was pull Niall into a hug and beg him to come back. For Liam’s sake, for Louis’ sake, for the sake of them all. He hated Niall for making him feel that way.

As Louis watched Niall lying by the pool, strangly in chinos and a long-sleeved shirt, despte the hot day, he could feel that anger welling in him again. Why did you have to do this to us Niall? We were happy, I thought you were happy, and then you do that to us without an explanation, without a reason why. Why did you have to go and cheat on Liam? Why? His hands balled into fists, and he pulled away from the glass screen doorway he had been observing Niall though. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t simply walk up to Niall and maintain a normal conversation they way they once could have before. They’d promised Liam they’d try and repair their individual relationships with Niall, but Louis couldn’t do it. He turned around and walked away, feeling in every step in the opposite direction a sense of betrayal.

On his way back to their room, Louis happened to pass by Jake, dressed in a pair of board shorts, most likely on his way to join Niall. (Honestly it was like the two were insufferable). Without really thinking about what he was doing, as they passed each other with cold acknowledgement, something in Louis snapped and his arm almost without his bidding, pinged out and grabbed Jake by his, halting the other male in his tracks.

“Louis?” Jake asked, his eyebrows tilting in perfect confusion.

Louis withdrew his hand as if he’d been electrocuted, unsure where the original action had come from. He had no idea how to explain himself, and made no move to apologise. Robbed of all language he could only stare at Jake, his eyes communicating what even he did not know.

“Alright then…”

Jake’s movement towards leaving seemed to somewhat startle Louis from whatever mute trance he was in, and before Jake could take more than two steps away Louis rushed out, “Why did Niall sleep with you?”

The million dollar question… the one that played on everyone’s minds. Until Jake Niall wasn’t a cheater and then after having just meet the guy Niall had cheated on and then dumped Liam and within days was with Jake. It was completely out of character for Niall, and it didn’t make sense.

Jake stopped and turned slowly towards Louis, a cocky smirk stretched across his face, “Isn’t that a bit personal Tomlinson?”

Louis flashed Jake a dry smile, “I’m just trying to figure out what is so attractive about you that Niall found worth cheating and leaving Liam for because personally I don’t see it,”

“Maybe its because I give Niall exactly what he needs,” Jakes smile reminded Louis of the cat in Alice and Wonderland, a smile so stretched it seemed to be a gaping hole that swallowed Jake’s entire face. “Now if that’s all you wanted, I’m going to join my boyfriend” and with that he turned and left.

Louis stood and watched him go, following him with his eyes until Jake was thoroughly dissapated from his sightline, and then he, too turned and left. He knew he’d promised Liam that he’d try and come to friendly terms with Niall, but he couldn’t do it. Not today.

Not today.


	7. Rather Love Than Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was kinda rushed... so sorry about that.

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_  
_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

A week passed slowly, encounters between Niall and the rest of the lads was rare, and restricted to rehearsals, signings and concerts that they had. Despite Liam, Harry and Zayn’s best efforts to mend what had been broken, Niall was avoiding them whenever he could. It wasn’t just them he was avoiding; Paul was also being avoided as much as they were, though. No-one knew why and when pressed he would only say that they would have to get that information from Niall themselves. He also made no comment on why Niall’s security had been doubled, although, Harry had reckoned it was from the recent fan attacks against Niall. And then there was Danielle… she had some idea of what was going on, but she too refused to give any of the lads an explanation. It was frusterating, and even without the heartbreak, Liam just wanted things to return to normal again.

He was finally facing facts that he’d lost Niall and it was time to move on. As much as he wanted Niall back. As much as it still hurt to see Niall so in love with this Jake guy. A part of Liam was willing to put his own emotions aside if it meant bringing their group back together. Losing Niall as a boyfriend was hard enough. Losing him as a friend was twice as hard and Liam couldn’t help feeling it was somehow his fault.

Sophia had been a rock through all of this, and despite the rumours that they were dating, she was a good friend. Her own boyfriend had cheated on her, and although they were still together she understood the betrayal and hearbreak that Liam felt. It was strange, he mused, that someone he hadn’t known before all this drama had gone down, could be so understanding. In someways it was easier to talk to her than talk to the lads.

“I don’t understand how he could be so cold towards us all of the sudden,” Liam complained, as they shared lunch in a nearby café. “I just want to know what I’ve done wrong. You’d think I’d been the worlds worst boyfriend with the way he treats me now.” He swollowed a mouthful of pasta before he continued. “I asked him and Jake to join us for Nandos the other night. It’s his favouried meal, and I figured it would be a good way to get to know Jake as well, but Jake said Niall was ill and Jake was looking after him. But I think they were just making it up to avoid hanging out with us, cause they were down at the bar later on drinking. Niall didn’t even look sick you know.” He trailed off and stared at his drink.

Sophia sat in silence as he spilled his heart to her, waiting patiently until he was done before speaking. “Forget about him Liam, if he’s going to be that way. He doesn’t deserve you. I know he’s the love of you life and all that, but I’m not really seeing much to love. He cheated on you, broke up with you – on your aniversary I might add – and is now being an ass about his new relationship. I know you love him, but it’s clear he doesn’t really love you.”

Liam hung his head, “I know,” he said mopily, knowing but not believing that every word she said was true.

“I’m sorry Liam,” Sophia said, “I know you want your happy ending with him, but I think you need to start thinking of moving on, it’s been what? A month? And he’s with that other guy now… I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“I know,” Liam admitted, “But how do I get over someone I’m in love with,” his head turned as a flash caught his eye “Damn it! Paps are here, I can drop you back home if you like?” He offered, shovling down the last mouthful of his meal and then signalling a waiter over for the check.

“No, it’s fine,” Sophia said collecting her things. “I have some shopping I want to do first,”

“Oh,” Liam nodded like it explained everthing to him, “Um… before you go I have something to give you,” he fumbled in his pocket and pulled out two concert tickets. “Our final concert before we go on tour,” he explained, “As a thank you for practically being my therapist.” He chuckled awkardly, “you can bring your boyfriend… or another friend if you want,” he smiled, “And they… um include backstage passes too,”

Sophia stared down at the two tickets he had slipped into her hands with amazement, “Thank you so much Liam,” she said, throwing her arms around him in delight. Liam returned the hug, a smile on his own face at her delight. And a brief hope fluttered in his heart that maybe one day things would be okay.

Maybe one day.

**Niall**

_This is looking like a contest,_  
_Of who can act like they care less,_  
_But I liked it better when you were on my side…_

Niall’s heart fluttered with nerves, it was the night of their final performance before they all went on tour. He felt no-where near ready to perform. Not only was he dreading having to interact with the Three months of having to share a hotel room with the rest of the lads. He knew it was Paul’s secret way of trying to get him to talk to them, and keep him separate from Jake, who was coming as part of the stage crew and being forced to share a room with several other crewmen. Jake was less than happy upon hearing the news, and Niall’s body still ached from being at the receiving end of that displeasure.

He sighed, ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest, as he spashed water on his face, washing the last of the make up he’d applied that morning off for Lou. Watching the water turn to his skin colour as he washed the makeup off of his face, panic stabbed him again. Even though he knew Lou was going to apply more on, and the only people who were going to see his bare face would be her and Paul, he couldn’t help but feel vulnerable, scared and ashamed.  
Someone banged on the door and Niall jumped. His cheast protested at the gasp that escaped his lips and burned as his breaths came shorter and faster.

“Niall?” Lou called through the door, “Hurry up in there, you’re not the only one who’s makeup needs doing and Paul can only keep the others out for so long,”

Niall swolloed the panic down feeling like a fool – of course it had only been Lou. Swollowing down the rest of his panic he called “One more sec!” through the door. He broke out in a dry cough, that burned across his chest and he prayed that he wasn’t coming down with a cold. Since a few days ago, he’d been feeling quite short of breath, and his chest was tight and painful and whenever he took in too deep a breath it felt like he was being stabbed by a thousand needles. Now with the coughing on top of it… he couldn’t afford to get sick. He’d already ruined enough for the lads, he didn’t need to ruin tour too, by coming down with a cold.

More knocks on the door interupted him, and a worried Pauls voice seeped through the door, “Niall are you okay in there?”

Niall straightened himself up from where he was hunched over the sink, and somewhat stumbled to the door swollowing down the rest of his coughs. He opened the door and flashed Paul the most convincing smile he could manage, “I’m fine, sorry,”

Paul frowned, “I thought I heard coughing, are you ill?”

Niall shook his head, “I’m fine,”

Paul still looked un convinced, but stepped aside and allowed Niall to move over to join Lou in her makeup corner. Both of them ignoring the glearingly obvious black eye that Niall was supporting. However, when Niall sat down in front of the mirror he couldn’t avoid it any longer. Lou tutted when she saw it and murmmered half-hearted about Niall creating more work for her. Niall closed his eyes at the sight of the black eye and worse, the hickies that dotted his neck that he’d hid with the scarf Lou had just removed. Rather than stare at them he closed his eyes.

_Niall was sitting in the room him and Jake now shared, his heart throbbed painfully at the image on the front cover of Liam and this other girl – Sophia – hugging. He hadn’t even opened the magazine, but had spent the good part of the last hour just staring at the picture on it. He had no right to be upset, he knew that. After all what he’d done to Liam was twice as bad and Liam deserved someone who would treat him better than Niall had… but at the same time, Niall couldn’t help missing him. It was getting harder and harder to see Liam around and act as if the sight of the other lad didn’t make his heart skip a beat._

_The door flew open, hard enough it hit the wall beside it. Niall’s head flicked up to see a very upset Jake standing in it. His heart immediately sped up as his brain scrambled to remember what Niall had done that would make Jake this upset…_

_Jake stormed over and thrust Niall’s phone in his hands. “Call Paul,”_

_Niall blinked, “What?”_

_Jake thrust the phone at Niall again and Niall slowly took it for him. “Call Paul. He works for you, make him change rooms!”_  
_Niall froze, knowing exactly what Jake was talking about, “I can’t,” he slowly set his phone down on the table as far from Jakes reach as he could, “I’ve already talked to him, he won’t change them,” Niall left out the fact that Paul’s condition was if Niall would only tell one of the lads about him and Jake, “I begged, but he said that it was in my – our best interest to be in the same room… makes us easier to guard I suppose,” He flinched._

_Jake shrugged, “Fine, whatever,” his eyes roamed dowards and he spotted the magazine that Niall had been looking at, “Seriously Niall?” he growled taking it from Niall before Niall could protest. “You’ve got to be kidding me,”_

_Niall hung his head, but Jake grabbed him by the chin and forced his head up shoving the picture in Niall’s face. “Get over it!” He spat in Nialls face, “He’s moved on, he couldn’t give a toss about you, get over it.” He threw the magazine across the room, Niall’s eyes followed it until it hit the wall and slid down it. His attention was quickly snapped back to Jake when his collar was grabbed, and he was lifted off his feet and thrown across the room in the same direction as the magazine, though he didn’t quite make it that far._

_“Get over him!” Jake yelled, pulling Niall up and punching him in the face his mouth morphing into a smirk as he watched Niall fall to the floor, “He doesn’t love you, probably was only with you because you were easy!” His foot kicked out and struck Niall in the chest. The blow stung and Niall could’ve sworn he hear something crack, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as Jakes foot swung again and Niall curled himself into a ball, bringing his arms up to protect himself as best he could._

“Have you told them yet?” Paul’s voice snapped through Niall’s flashabacks and Niall opened his eyes and subtilly shook his head. Paul sighed and Niall had to look away from the look Paul was giving him, but thankfully Paul said nothing more.

The rest of the time passed without further comment from Paul which Niall was eternally grateful for. As he got up to leave however, Lou gently grabbed his arm, “Are you quite alright lad?” she asked softly so the rest of the lads who were filtering in didn’t hear her, “You’re looking a little pale,”

Niall nodded tightly and removed her hand from his arm. “I’m fine.” He said, despite the sharp pain in his chest that contradicted that. He was fine. He was fine.

However as he prepared to stand on the stage and went through his vocal warm up, his shortness of breath and inability to hold a note for more than a couple of seconds without needing to cough or his cheast hurting was gradually proving him wrong. Just get through tonight, he pep-talked himself silently Grit your teeth and ignore the pain.

It was one night. He could do this.

He could do this.

**Zayn, Louis, Harry, Liam and Niall**

_The battle's in your hands now,_   
_But I would lay my armor down_   
_If you said you'd rather love than fight…_

Niall despite his best efforts, was visably not well. Anyone could see that half a mile away. During vocals it was obvious he was short of breath, and he seemed to have a cough coming on. But whenever anyone inquired after his well-being, he shut them down and insisted he was fine. They made silent notes to keep an eye on him throughout the night, but when they ran onstage Niall was just as bouncy and energetic as the rest of them and they quickly forgot to be worried at all. Until they were remineded of it.

Zayn and Louis shared grins as they goofed around onstage, feeding off the vibes of audience. Louis was pleased to see the presence of Sofia in the front row. He hopped that her being there, meant that Liam was finally getting over Niall and moving onto people more deserving of his attention. His eye caught Eleanor’s and he flashed her a smirk and a wink, as he stuck his foot out tripping up Harry who stumbled and in turn crashed into Niall sending Niall sprawling at Liam’s feet.

Liam smiled and streched a hand down towards Niall up. He frowned slightly at the look on Niall’s face as he stood up again, but Niall was off down the stage reassuring fans he was fine before Liam could say anything to him. Liam had to wonder if he had simply imagined it, but for a brief moment, he could have sworn he’d seen agony in Nialls features, that Niall had been stiffer getting up than usual. He shook the idea from his head, and looked up, his eyes meeting Zayn’s across the stage and say his reflection in Zayn’s eyes.

From that moment onwards, while Liam elected that Harry sing Niall an apology song for pushing him over even though Harry insisted it was Louis fault, Zayn kept a close eye on the younger lad. For some reason the image of Niall’s beaten face had resurfaced in his mind. No matter how often he brushed it aside the thought that someone might be hurting Niall kept crawling back in. It hadn’t escaped Zayn’s notice that recently, Niall’s security to be double. So he knew that it wasn’t possible that Niall was no longer being hurt anymore. Not with as many security guards that Paul had assigned to Niall.

And yet there was something wrong with Niall. And he was desperatly trying to hide it. Zayn could see it in the way he was favouring one side more than another, and Niall was far less energetic than he had been at the start of the night. Every time he was so much as jostled Zayn could almost see the wince of pain hidden in his face. And judging from the small glances that Zayn caught Liam sending in Niall’s direction… he wasn’s the only one.

Harry and Louis continued the concert playing up to the audience, their usual antics coming out in full blow on the stage, and Niall desperatly wished he could laugh watching them, but ever since Harry had pretty much tackled him, his side was aching worse than it ever was and even the most shallow breaths sent slashes of pain across his torso. It was getting harder and harder to keep his breathing even; and swollow each cough that threatened to choke him down. He was begnning to be forced to quietly withdraw form some of the more active antics of the lads, excusing himself to play the guitar instead. The fans noticed, but were too caught up in the delight of Niall playing for them that no-one questioned it, and just assumed his knee was playing up again.

The end of the night couldn’t come quickly enough for Niall, but at some point towards the end he’d found the strength to rejoin the antics. Every time he didn’t have the will or energy to keep it up, and felt ready to collaps into a ball and never face the world again, he would glace out the corner of his eye to off stage and see all the motivation he needed watching him. Those hawks eyes made Niall feel as if he were merely a rabbit and a burst of adrenaline would surge through him. But the effort to remain normal was wearing him out… every jump he made only worsened the now almost constant ache in his ribs, and every cough he swollowed down; clawed, and burned, and faught to find a way out of him.

As soon as the show was over, and Niall was out of the fans line of sight, he made for the nearest empty bathroom. A hand on his arm stopped him half way there. Niall turned to meet whomever had stopped him and his heart stopped. Liam with his ever gentle features stared at Niall with eyebrows pinched together in worry. Behind him hovered Louis and Harry watching the interaction with caution, and Niall knew he’d been caught out. Why couldn’t they just give up already?

“Niall are you okay? You seemed a little… breathless tonight,” Liam asked gently, searching Niall’s guarded features for some semblance of an answer.

Niall took a deep breath, he couldn’t deal with this. Not right now. His chest was burning and he desperatly needed some time to himself to figure out what was wrong with him, and get the taste of blood out of his mouth. I’m sorry Liam he thought as he opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out But I know this is the only way you’re going to leave me alone.

“I’m fine.” Niall responded, “Theres nothing wrong with me, so why don’t you just run back to your new girlfriend and leave me alone,”

Liam frowned, taken aback with Niall’s harsh response. Louis hissed in anger. And Harry said nothing, Jakes words to him flashed through his mind, _Niall hates you… Niall hates all of you._

Liam grit his teeth and ignored the hurt, “I was worried. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. There’s no need for you to bite my head off about it.”  
“Well I’m fine so you can go. You don’t need to hover all over me like I’m still your boyfriend. It’s Jakes job to make sure I’m fine not yours. I don’t want nor need you to care about me. I don’t love you anymore. So how about you go and entertain Sophia and leave me in peace,” the words tasted bitter and foul in Niall’s mouth but he forced them out, and ignored the hurt in Liams face. This is for the best.

“Fine,” Liam snapped back, “I thought we could still be friends, but I can see whoever you’ve become is no friend of mine.” And he stormed away, Harry trailing silently behind them.

Louis turned to go, but then stopped and turned back to face Niall. “I don’t know what happened to the Niall we used to know and love. But ever since you met Jake you’ve turned into a complete douche.” He snarled, stepping forward and grabbing Niall by the collar and leaned in until there was barely an inch between them, “I don’t know what Jake’s done to the old Niall, but you can rot in hell together for all I care.” He dropped Niall to the floor and Niall flinched away waiting for the blow to follow.

When the blow didn’t fall, Niall peeked at Louis, and saw him standing further back staring at Niall in confusion. Noticing Niall looking at him Louis let out a mirthless laugh, “Liam has been nothing but kind to you since you broke his heart,” Louis said slightly more softly, “You have no right to talk to him the way you just did.”

Niall swollowed and nodded, “I-I’m sorry,” he said, and before Louis could say anything more took off running. The beginnings of a panic attack overwhelming him.

Louis watched him go, his mind trying to understand what had just happened. There was something odd about what happened, but Louis felt like he was missing a part. Until he found out what he was missing, he wouldn’t be able to find the answer. You couldn’t make 4 with just one 2.

“Where’s Niall?” a voice asked over Louis shoulder.

“He ran off,” Louis said, staring at where only seconds before Niall had been flinching from Louis as if Louis was going to hit him.

“Which way?” the same voice asked, before it was cut off by Paul’s sharp voice, and Louis realised who he’d been talking to. The good-for-nothing-boyfriend who had ruined all of there lives. A part of Louis couldn’t help but hate Jake for everything that happened. If Niall hadn’t met Jake then him and Liam would still be happily in love.

As Paul followed after Niall, Louis wondered just how could everything have suddenly gone so wrong.

**Zayn and Niall**

_So many things that you wished I knew,_   
_But the story of us might be ending soon._

After the show, Zayn had desperatly needed to pee, so while Liam, Harry and Louis checked on Niall he had snuck to the bathroom to relieve himself. Just as he’d stepped out of the bathroom to go rejoin the group, he was bowled into by one very panicked Niall. He reached his arms out and grabbed Niall by the shoulders to steady him.

“Whoa! Bit of a hurry there ae Niall?”

Niall said nothing, just stood panting, his breath coming and going in quick short gasps. Zayn frowned at the lad. He noticed the symptoms for what they were and quickly pulled Niall into the bathroom and out of sight of any prying eyes.

Niall was in the middle of a full blown panic attack.

“Niall focus on me okay?” Zayn spoke quickly, sitting Niall down where he could lean against the wall, and crouched down in front of him. “Just focus on me and try and slow you’re breathing down mate.”

Niall slowly lifted his eyes to meet Zayn’s and Zayn gripped his hands tightly, and encouraged Niall to slow his breaths down until they were soft and even.

As soon as Zayn deemed Niall more calmer, he sat back and gave him a calculating eye. Niall still hadn’t said a word during the whole event. But Zayn wanted an explaination, the last time he’d seen Niall have a panic attack was when Niall’s claustrophobia had kicked in after a crowd they’d pushed through had been a little too tight.

“What happened? Did something happen?”

Niall shook his head, his cheast heaving, as he struggled to regain control. “I have… have to… have to find Jake,” he gasped out. He made a weak attempt to pass Zayn, but lost the battle to maintain his coughs inside and instead collapsed back coughing into his hand even as Zayn ranted above him.

“ – All you’ve done recently is shut us all out. I know your breakup with Liam was messy, and we’re all kinda mad you dumped him without a reason. Don’t even try and say that it’s cause you don’t love him anymore,” Zayn snapped when Niall opened his mouth to protest, “I know you still do. Nobody falls out of love that fast. And I know we haven’t been the kindest to you, but we’ve been trying our best to make amends and you keep pushing us away. You’re always hanging out with Jake and never with us. And you’ve been keeping secrets – like those bruises –“

“I told you I fell,” Niall cut in.

Zayn fixed him with a scrupulous glance. “Don’t insult me by actually thinking that I would believe that line. You’re going to tell me tonight who did that to you and we’re going to end this battle you seem to think we’re having before – “ Zayn frowned as Niall broke into another fit of coughing, “Mate are you alright? Those coughs sound pretty bad…”

Niall winced at the pain in his torso that consumed him with every cough, the words Im fine died on his lips when he saw his hand. A quick flick of his tongue confirmed his fears as he stared at the limb in horror.

Niall’s hand was covered in blood.

“Niall why are you coughing up blood?” Zayn asked quietly, staring at a trickle of it as it oozed its way out from between Niall’s knuckles.

“I… I -“ Niall stammered, having forgotten Zayn was also in the room, and struggling to come up with an answer that could explain everything away. Fortunately the door to the bathroom opened and Paul entered. That fortune ended swiftly when Paul took one look at Niall and said…

“What happened?”

“Niall’s coughing up blood,” Zayn said, “But I think his chest has been giving him pain all night,”

“Okay,” Paul nodded at Zayn, then stared at Niall in thought, “Assuming what you told me is still happening, I have a theory, but I’m going to need you to take your shirt off.”

“I’m not going to take my shirt off,” Niall protested, his eyes glancing meaningfully in Zayn’s direction.

“Zayn’s not going to say anything are you Zayn?” Paul asked.

Zayn blinked, wondering what in the name of love was going on, but he could sense that he wasn’t going to get any answers if he asked two many questions. He gave a silent nod to Paul, promising to keep his mouth shut for the time being.

Niall still looked uncertain, but he helped Paul get his top off all the while shooting nervous glances in Zayn’s direction. Because of the way Paul was crouched over Niall, Zayn couldn’t clearly see much of Niall’s torso. However as Paul moved to the side a little to better inspect Niall’s ribcage, Nialls chest and stomach was revealed to Zayn – or at least enough of it for Zayn to clearly see blacks, blues, purples, reds, greens and yellows. Niall’s body looked like a used paint pallet. Or maybe a canvas. His body painted the picture of weeks – maybe months of abuse. Zayn sucked in his breath. Someone had been hurting Niall right under their noses. Zayn’s nose. Zayn who’d sworn to Niall he’d look out for him no matter what. Whilst admittingly, they had been mad at Niall for his heartless regard for Liam during the breakup. That didn’t mean that any of them had stopped caring. How could they have missed so much?

Abused. Zayn still reeled at the thought. However, it did fill in a lot more of the puzzle making parts of it more clear. Niall’s pulling away so much, the getting changed and having his hair and makeup done separately, the wearing of makeup even when they didn’t have any gigs… Zayn thought back to the two bruises he had uncovered. Shame hit Zayn like a knife. He’d seen and said nothing. He had let Niall cover them up and walk away, and Zayn hadn’t said a word. But foresight was a bitch and at last things were starting to make sense. Even Jakes almost aggressive possessiveness of Niall made sense; if Zayn knew someone was hurting Perri he’d probably be possessive too.

The one thing that didn’t make any sense to him, was who could have possible wanted to hurt Niall in this way. Zayn’s first thought was that it could be upset fan who blamed Niall for the breakup; but that didn’t make sense, with the extra security that Niall had lately it wasn’t possible. Besides, there were too many bruises and unless Niall was getting jumped nearly every day by fans… it wasn’t possible. After that there weren’t many other options… A security guard? Zayn doubted, everyone was checked thouroughly, Paul would never put them in the care of someone he didn’t trust, especially Niall. Management? No way. Someone on their team? Not likely, there were always too many people around. One of the lads? Now Zayn was just getting ridiculous.

Or Jake… Zayn dissed the thought straight away, until he actually thought about it. In a weird way, Jake would almost make sense. After all none of the dramas happened until he had come along and stolen Niall right from under their noses. Niall, who until that awful night, none of them would ever have believed capable of cheating. And Jake had access to Niall at times when the security guards weren’t around to look out for him. It was nearly as ridiculous to blame Jake as it was to blame one of the lads. Zayn reprimanded himself for letting his personal feelings affect his judgement like that. Jake loved Niall, and was always looking out for him. Niall wouldn’t be with Jake if he was being abused by him. Yet… in a strange way there was a certain logic to it.

“You’ve definitely got a broken rib,” Paul said straightening up, and bringing Zayn’s attention back to what was going on. “I’d say it’s probably pierced your lung since you’re coughing up blood,” He turns to face Zayn, his face tight and controlled, “Text the lads, we’re going to have to take him to the hospital,”

Niall’s heart clenched in his chest and it felt as if all the air had been frozen in his body. This injury was serious and there was no way he was going to be able to talk Paul or Zayn into letting the matter drop. There world spun on it’s axis as he felt everything he’d worked so hard to hide slipping away from him. Oh God! Jake was going to kill him!

“Niall, Ni, it’s okay man, breath or you’re going to make it worse,” Zayn’s gentle voice cut through and Niall realised he’d begun to have a panic attack again. “Mate, you’re okay. Paul and I are here and we’re going to make sure everything works out okay man?”

Niall nodded slowly pulling himself together again. He almost could’ve thrown himself into Zayn’s arms, but he then he saw the look on Pauls face. They might not be having the conversation now, but there was no way that Paul was going to let him get away with not telling the lads anymore. Niall’s spent enough time recently fighting loosing battles to know, he’s not going to win this one. So he let’s them help him stand and walks obediantly between them and prays that while he’s in hospital Jake won’t take it out on him too much.

Maybe the hospital will release him early and he can convince Paul not to make him tell the lads. Maybe. But there’s a part of Niall that doesn’t know if that’s what he really wants.

It’s been such a long time since it’s been about Niall, that he doesn’t know what he wants anymore.


	8. The Battle's In Your Hands Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you've all been waiting for...

Danielle marched through the hospital halway, despite the calm look on her face, her stride and quick pace betrayed her anger. It had been two days since Jake had put Niall in the hospital, two day’s since Zayn had called her and demanded to know who was hurting Niall. Two day’s since Paul had told Danielle he needed her to find a way to get the Niall to talk to the lads, and so Danielle had maed the call. Niall could hate her forever for what she was about to do, but she couldn’t keep his secrets for him any longer, and there was no way she was going to let him keep them either.

Jake’s reign of tyranny over Niall would end today, one way or another Danielle would see to it.

And she wasn’t alone.

Behind her strode Eleanor and Perri. They knew better than anyone how important the information that Danielle had given them over the phone was. They knew how vital it was that Niall told the other lads that information himself. And they were strong enough that they wouldn’t back down where Danielle had. Where Danielle couldn’t go on, Eleanor and Perri would push forward, until the story was told. They were ready.

As they passed the security guards stationed outside Niall’s door, Danielle gave them each friendly nods, as they let the three girls past. “Miss Danielle,” One of them said, just as Danielle had her hand on the door, ready to push it open, “Paul thought you might like to know that everyone’s in there… including Mr Jake,” Danielle nodded, not really surprise, of course Jake would be around to make sure Niall didn’t go aroung spilling his secrets. Too bad, she thought maliciously I have a way to make him tell and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

Everyones sans Pauls, eyes turned to stare at the new comers enterance into the small, crowded hospital room. Jake and Niall were on the hospital bed, Jakes arm slung protectively around Niall. The rest were scattered in various areas of the hospital room, their eyes widening almost comically when they saw who Danielle had brought with her.

“What are you guys doing here?” Louis demands almost instantly.

Eleanor laughs and gives her boyfriend a kiss so it’s Perri who answers, “Danielle told us about Niall, we came to see this latest mess you guys have created for ourselves.”

“So Niall, what happened this time, hun?” Danielle asks softly, before anyone can ask anymore questions.

“I broke a rib,” Niall says, flicking a nervous glance that the girls don’t miss towards Jake, “It must’ve pierced my lung or something I-“

“He fell down some stairs at the hotel,” Jake interjects, cutting Niall off, “Some fan jumped out and him and started chasing him and he tripped and fell down, didn’t even help him up, just asked for his autograph,”

Perri’s eyebrows pinch into a frown, “But where were your security guards?” she asked Niall, lightly picking at the story that Jake and him have concoted, “Aren’t they meant to be with you at all times?”

“It happened at the hotel, Niall wanted space and slipped away, he didn’t thing anything would happen.” Jake answered smootly, he gave Niall a slight shove, “Isn’t that right hun?”

Niall nods, and quickly adds, “I just wanted some space, everyones been acting like I can’t look after myself,” he stared directly at Paul, who ignored him.

  
“The broken rib isn’t really convincing us that well,” Dani says, out of the corner of her eyes she can see the lads are sensing some of the undertone of the conversation, without really knowing what it’s about. Zayn in particular is listening in closely, his brow forrowed in concentration as he tries to understand whats going on without understanding it at all.

Jake pulls one of Niall’s bruised arms out from where he had been hiding it under the blanket that he has wrapped around himself. He waves it like a trophey for all the room to see. “You can’t even defend yourself from teenage fangirls,” he says, you can’t even defend yourself from me is what Niall and the girls all hear and the room elapses into awkward silence.

Danielle struggles desperately to come up with something to break it and bring everyone together, but she’s too wound up to think of anything that won’t start a fight.

She doesn’t think she’s ever felt the urge to murder someone so strongly until now.

**Pretty much everyone.**

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,_   
_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

Eleanor has no idea how Paul manages it – but he somehow finds a way to get someone to call Jake in to work and make it sound important enough to get him to leave Niall despite his obvious reluctence to go. To be fair, if she was him she wouldn’t want to leave as well, especially if he knew that Danielle, Perri and herself were about to unravel every single secret about him that Niall’s been keeping from the lads.

A few minutes later and Paul excuses himself to go grab food for every one and it’s just One Direction, their girlfriends and Danielle. Eleanor shifts on where she is seated, partially curled into Louis. It’s game time.

Niall gives them the perfect opening. “You guys don’t have to feel obligated to keep me company,” he tells them all, “I have Paul and the body guards… and… and Jake when he gets back,”

“I think that’s precisely why we’re all here,” Danielle states, giving Niall a look that he withers from.

“I-I mean it’s not like you guys want to be here,”

“Just because you treated Liam like shit and turned into a whore doesn’t mean we don’t want to make sure you’re okay,” Louis snaps. And Eleanor loves her boyfriend, really she does. But he can be a little too harsh sometimes.

“Well I’m fine,”

“Except your currently covered in bruises,” Liam says softly, “Not to mention you couldn’t breath and were coughing up blood just two days ago. Babe –“ he stops when Niall flinches and carefully corrects himself, “Niall, you don’t talk to us anymore. I get it if you don’t want to talk to me, but you can always talk to Zayn or Harry or… Louis,”

Niall’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, unable to snap at Liam like he know he should

“Which is why we’re here,” Perri jumps in, “We’re going to make you guy’s start talking to each other again,”

Niall’s heart felt like it was about to jump out of his cheast and he sunk back into the hospital sheets wishing that they would just swollow him up entirely. He’s had the sinking feeling all night that Danielle’s told Perri and and Eleanor, and he has the feeling that now he’s about to be proved right.

“Lets go back to the night where Niall and Liam broke up shall we?” Eleanor quips in almost a too light tone for the conversation, “That’s where it all started I think,” Danielle nods and Eleanor sits back satisfied, “Harry do you want to go first?”

Harry shuffles uncomfortably, unsure where to really begin. He doesn’t really know what to say that’s going to make any difference though he can’t really blame Danielle and Eleanor for trying. “ _He hates you… shit friends…”_ the words cycle round.

When Harry doesn’t say anything for a minute Louis takes everyone by surpries and speaks up “Look we all love Niall, but we also all love Liam. And recently Niall’s been treating him like shit. He cheated on Liam, breaks up with him on their anniversary, practically has sex with his new boyfriend in front of Liam after just kissing Liam it’s soo whorish, and now he acts like we’re nothing to him, even though all we’re trying to do is go back to being his friends. The only right thing you seem to have done right recently is break up with Liam because he doesn’t deserve any of this that you’ve put him through. So yeah, I’m pissed as hell at you Niall,”

Perrie nods and trys not to act like it doesn’t break her heart on Niall’s behalf.

“I’m sorry,” Harry bursts out, “I don’t know what we’ve done to make you hate us all so much. But you’re still my mate even if… even if you did cheat on Liam. We still all love you and I don’t want you to hate us all.”

Niall frowned, “I don’t hate you, Harry. What made you think that?”

“You were acting weird, so I went to your hotel room to ask Jake if he knew since he’s your boyfriend and all,” Harry paused, noticing the sudden intence interest Niall was paying him, “He said you were avoiding us cause you hate us all.”

“I don’t hate you Harry,” Niall said softly, watching as Harry wiped a stray tear away. “Jake must have been… mistaken, nothing could make me hate you… even if you all hate me,”

“We don’t hate you Niall,” Liam said, “we could never hate you,”

Perrie gently nudged her boyfriend, “Zayn, do you want to go next,” she asked. So far so good, everyone was being open and honest and hopefully by the time they got to Niall, he would be encouraged to be open too. Although she highly doubted he would be, but they could always hope.

“Alright,” Zayn leaned forwards and rubbed his head in his hands, when he looked up again, he looked suddenly a whole lot wearier, “Niall, I don’t know what the heck is going on with you, but you’ve made some really stupid moves. Cheating on Liam while you were still together and that whole kissing thing, and I don’t know what’s gotten into you recently but it’s not you. You couldn’t even own up to cheating on him, he had to find out you cheated on him from the tabloids. That broke him Niall, and as much as I care about you, I can’t forgive you for that.”

Zayn took a breath and gazed into Niall’s eyes as if searching for something in them, “And you’ve been keeping secrets and I know Paul and Dani know about them, and I’m picking El and Per do too? I know things have been rough and I’m mad but Ni you can always come to me no matter what. You don’t have to lie, which is all you seem to be doing lately.” Zayn’s mind flicked to the bruises he’d seen prior to the concert, “I’m always here if you feel ready to tell me where you really got those bruises,”

None of the other lads got it, but he could see the realisation cross Niall’s eyes and almost snarled when Niall gave him the recorded “I told you I fell,” line

Liam didn’t need any prompting to begin. When it became apparent that Zayn had said what he’d wanted to say, he eagarly began his side of the story. If this meant that they could all go back to being mates again, than he would do whatever it took to get Niallt to forgive them.

“On our six months Niall and I planned to meet up at one of our favourite restaurants and Niall showed up late, looking awful and broke up with me and I still don’t understand why.” Liam looked up at Niall but couldn’t keep the gaze when he saw the cold indifference (really just Niall struggling to hold back tears), “I know you said that you don’t love me anymore and you cheated and are with Jake now, but I can’t believe that you don’t. At least not then. You can’t be in love with one person one day and then not the next. I still refuse to believe that that’s the true reason you broke up with me. If it’s because you cheated than I don’t understand why you didn’t just say so. Instead I had to find out from the paps because they posted the story everywhere. Like I get it’s not something you want to tell someone and – yeah I would’ve felt hurt, but I guess I thought you could come to me about anything.”

Liam flicks another chance glance towards Niall who has a lone tear tracking it’s way down his cheek much to Liam’s shock. “And I know you want to have nothing to do with me, but I really wish we could go back to being friends again…” Liam swollowed hard, fighting the lump in his throat that came with the next words he was about to say. He wanted to stay strong, act casual but it was so hard when the love of his life was sitting in a hospital bed hating him, “… even if it meant never having a chance with you again, because your friendship means more to me than that,”

Zayn reaches an arm out to Liam and rubs his back, letting his hand lingure and reminding Liam of his support before withdrawing it away again. Louis and Harry flash him their own sympathetic glances, knowing how much it cost him to say that. And Niall…

Niall says nothing.

His heart is breaking inside his chest because more than anything; he desperately wants to be with Liam again and have everything go back to the way it was before. Before all of… this. Before Niall cheated and screwed everything up for every one. Before Niall realised how worthless he was and how little he deserved someone as good and kind as Liam.

Eleanor swollows hard. She can feel the tension in the room. And it’s only about to become more tense.

She took a deep breath and, brining some lightness into her voice she said “Now that you’ve heard the other lads side of the story, I think it’s time you honestly tell yours.”

“There’s not much for me to say,” Niall starts out slowly, his eyes darting nervously from girl to girl, “I went shopping to get Liam his anniversary gift and Jake was there. I guess – I was overcome with how good looking Jake was-is and got really horny cause when I went out back with him to see more stock we ended up having sex. I broke up with Liam afterwards because he was too good to be with a person who cheated on him like that.”

Perrie patiently waited Niall out, a part of her was gutted he had lied, but a logical side of her knew that he wouldn’t. Who goes out and says hey guys, I got raped and I’m still with the guy even though he hits me.

“Niall I thought we agreed no lying,” she said patiently.

Niall looked guilty at Danielle, “I’m not lying.” He defended himself, “Maybe I was just really horny and Jake was there,”

“Come on Niall, don’t feed us that line, at least half of us in this room know the truth so lyings not going to get you anywhere,”

Niall gleared at Danielle, “How could you? I trusted you!” Danielle winced but said nothing.

Liam, Louis and Harry all glanced at each other in confusion. None of them had any clue what the girls were on about but any queries they voiced were shot down by argument about whatever it was they thought Niall was lying about.

Zayn listened to the whole thing carefully picking up every piece of paper and placing it somewhere in the puzzle he was putting together.

“Start again Niall, and the truth this time,” Eleanor said evenly.

“Jake and I fucked in the back of the store on Liam and I’s anniversary!” Niall yelled furiously, “How is that not the truth?”

“But it’s not is it?”

“We all know I screwed Jake! It’s published over nearly every tabloid! Everyone knows I cheated! How could I possibly be lying?”

“Except we know you Niall,” Perrie said, standing up and staring him down, “Cheating on Liam – who you’re head over heels in love with? That’s not you. Your faithful. If you felt like cheating you would have broken up with him first not afterward and it certainly wouldn’t’ve been with some guy you just met in the back of the store on your anniversary.”

“Well maybe you just don’t know me that well,” Niall snarled, his voice cracking.

“You know why the situation is so messy?” Perrie asked, “It’s because none of this makes sense because we all know you. We know you wouldn’t lose your virginity to some guy in a store. We know you wouldn’t’ve just dumped Liam out of the blue without a reason. All of this is a mess because you aren’t telling the truth.”

“Perrie maybe you should –“ Harry began, looking from Perrie to Niall and watching as the blonde lad slowly fell apart, but Perrie cut him off. “Not until he starts telling the truth.” She said firmly, pointing a finger at Niall

“I am telling the truth!” Niall yelled

“No you’re not!” Perrie yelled back.

“Guys…” Liam said slowly, “Maybe we should all just calm down, and sort this out later when we’re feeling a little more… rational,”

“And what? Wait until Niall ends up in hospital again?” Eleanor snapped, “I think not, we’re doing it here and now,”

“What does this have to do with Niall’s broken rib?” Louis asked, “We’re talking about whether or not Niall and Jake fucked – am I right? Which clearly they did!”

“See!” Niall yelled waving his arm in Louis’ direction, “He gets it!”

“He doesn’t get it!” Eleanor yelled at the same time as Perrie said, “You haven’t told him the truth so how could he get it?”

Niall gritted his teeth, “I fucked Jake. I fucked him in the back of the story. I fucked him while Liam sat at the resaurant and waited for me. I fucked him and then I broke up with Liam. End – Of – story”

“Bebs,” Zayn said, leaning back, “This is getting us no-where. Niall has made it abundantly clear that him and Jake had sex on Liam and Niall’s anniversary I don’t know what you think he’s lying about but he’s not going to say and we’re stressing him out,”

“We’re not backing down,” Perrie said firmly, “Not until he tells the truth,”

“Niall just tell them the truth!” Louis shouted, exasperated and wanting all the yelling to stop so he could understand what the heck was going on here.

“I’m not lying, they’re just making stuff up,” Niall defended himself.

“Alright then, why don’t you tell the whole story then? No lies and no leaving anything out,” Perrie challenged, folding her arms across her chest.

“Niall… what is she talking about?” Liam asked, “What are the girls so sure you’re lying about?”

Niall’s eyes slipped away to look at the floor, “Nothing, don’t worry about it,”

Eleanor didn’t miss it with her sharp eyes however – and she instantly jumped at what she saw. Niall was cracking and she was willing to bet her life that if they made Niall look Liam in the eyes and say it he would break completely.

“Tell us the story again then,” she said, “Look at Liam while you’re doing it, and if you don’t look away we’ll believe you,” she ignored Perries angery hiss and watched as Niall reluctantly lifted his eyes to meet Liam’s.

“On the night of our anniversary…” he started, but couldn’t help himself and looked away. Eleanor smiled. Niall tried again. “On the night of our anniversary… I… went into a store… and Jake… and I… we… Jake… Jake and I…” Niall could feel his resolve crumbling. He thought he could do this. Lie to Liam and say something along the lines that he had submitted to Jake willingly. But looking into Liam’s warm brown eyes and Niall couldn’t do it – he couldn’t hurt Liam again. Those eyes, were the eyes of the boy Niall was still very much in love with and he couldn’t lie to them. Not again. He’d done that too many times already.

Niall eventually couldn’t take it and tears fell as he finally admitted defeat, “Fine you want the truth?” He snarled his hands balling into fists and he couldn’t look anyone in the face, “I didn’t want to!” he yelled, “Are you happy now? When Jake and I went to the back of the store I said no! I said it over and over – but he never stopped. Is that what you wanted me to say? Damn it! I said no!”

**Everyone**

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,_   
_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now._

Everyone was silent.

Tears ran down Niall’s cheeks and Danielle shifted to comfort him, but he angrily threw her off. Humiliated and angry he had never wanted to have revealed that to Liam but thanks to Perrie, Eleanor and Danielle (and Paul, but Niall didn’t know that) he’d done just that. As for the girls, all of them felt just as awful as Niall looked. None of them wanted to have forced him to reveal it in such a horrible way. But it had been a necessary evil.

Now that they’d done their job and the truth was out in the open, they took a (metaphoric) step backwards and watched from the sidelines as One Direction sorted the rest out for themselves.

Each of the lads in their own way were shell shocked. Liam would’ve looked like a statue if it weren’t for his eyes which stared blankly in shock as if his mind was still trying to translate what he had just heard.

Harry stared opened mouthed, every now and again he made little noises that nobody could understand and his arm would flick as if wanting to to reach out to something, but he kept brining it in. He didn’t know how to react or what he was supposed to say.

Louis eyes burned several different emotions from shock to horror before stopping on anger. His hands balled into fists and anyone in the room could see exactly what he was feeling. Fury radiated from him, and even Eleanor felt a little wary of what he might do or how he might explode.

Zayn if he was honest with himself, had kind of already seen it coming. Perhaps earlier when he’d first started piecing things together he hadn’t wanted to face the ugly truth, but now that it had been admitted he found he wasn’t surprised. Niall confessing to being raped was the last piece that he needed for the puzzle to make sense. And while Louis’ anger burned like fire Zayn’s burned like ice.

“But... how…” Liam breathed out, his mind still trying to understand, “… why…”

“I wanted to get you an anniversary present,” Niall confessed, speaking to the deadly silent room, “Something cheesy you know?” he laughed bitterly, it seemed so long ago. A different Niall in a different time, “Jake worked there and he said they had more stock out back so I…” Niall clenched a fist, “I followed him,” His eyes sought Liams, “When he kissed me I tried to push him away,” his eyes glistened, “I – I tried to remind him I had a boyfriend, I swear! I told him I didn’t want it but he wouldn’t listen to me! He wouldn’t listen! He just threw me on the ground and called me a whore an-and a slut an-and I cou-couldn’t fight him off,”

Niall paused and looke down at his fingers, “I wanted my first time to be with you and it would be romantic… or sweet… or something. Instead it was in the back of a store and afterwards… afterwards I went back to you but I knew I couldn’t face you.” He sobbed and this time when Dani reached out to comfort him, he turned into her arms and clung there for a few minutes until he was in control of himself again. “I wanted to tell you so badly, and have you hold me,” He swollowed down another sob, “But I’m used goods now, one look at you standing there and I knew I was too dirty and damaged to deserve you. You deserved better than a slut and a whore so…” Niall’s eyes slipped guilty away, “I broke up with you. What everyone’s been saying is true. You deserve better than someone who fucked a stranger in a back store,”

Liam shook his head in denial, he tried to speak but all words refused to leave his mouth.

“He didn’t fuck you Niall,” Louis snarled. Everyones eyes turned to stare at him in astonishment.

“Uh yeah he did,” Niall said, “I was there, I think I’d know whether or not he fucked me,”

“For goodness sake Niall!” Louis yelled, causing Niall to flinch and several others to jump, “He didn’t bloody fuck you, he raped you,”

Niall flinched again and said nothing.

“Why are you with him then,” Harry whispered, “If he did… that to you, why are you dating him?”

“Because I was scared,” Niall said slowly, “He threatened to tell everyone, and it didn’t really seem like such a big deal you know? We’d already fucked once so what difference did it make if we did it again? After what I’d done to Liam it wasn’t like I’d deserved any less,”

“So he still rapes you?” Louis snarled. Niall looked away and said nothing, “I can’t believe this!” He stood up but Eleanor put a hand on his arm, and he sat back down again, “I’m going to kill that bastard,”

“And Danielle knew?” Zayn guessed, “Ni… you could’ve come to us,”

“I couldn’t,” Niall admitted quietly, “Liam couldn’t find out and you guys would have made me tell him,”

“Damn right we would have,” Louis snarled before Eleanor could shush him.

“I should have known,” Zayn sighed, “Those two bruises on your face that day, they’re from him aren’t they.” Niall nodded his head stiffly, “And the bruises on your arms?” Another nod, “The broken rib?” Nothing.

“I’m going to kill him,” Louis grit out, “By the time I’m through with him-“

“Lou, calm down” Liam said, slowly coming back into control of himself.

“How can I?” Louis half yelled, bringing his voice down when he saw Niall flinch, “He – he raped Niall… And he hits him and it was under my nose this entire time. I called him a slut… when – Ni, I’m so sorry,”

Niall shrugged, “It’s fine,”

Zayn frowned, “No Niall it’s not,”

“Yes, it is. You guys don’t have anything to be guilty about. It’s my fault I should have done something. Been stronger or smarter or… or something!”

All of Niall’s self-loathing shone through and the lads realised just how much they’d been missing. Niall was broken and they hadn’t noticed until now. Seeing Niall like this, Liam’s own heart broke and he stood up to comfort Niall, but when he reached an arm out, Niall flinched like Liam was going to hit him and that hurt more than anything.

“It’s not your fault Niall,” Liam said gently, “Don’t think for a second that any of this is your fault.”

“It’s that bastards fault,” Louis spat, “I’m going to kill him,”

The room fell silent. Nobody knew what else to say.

What could they say?


	9. Tragedy

After Niall’s confession, one of the lads make sure they’re with Niall at all times. No-one says a word to Jake when Niall begs them to wait until he’s out of hospital, but they all separately plotted his murder.

The days leading up to Niall’s release from hospital went slowly, and was draining on everyone. After Niall’s revelation, nobody brought up the subject with Niall again. It was hard enough for them to talk about amongst themselves let alone with Niall.

But the day they brought Niall back to their hotel room from the hospital, they couldn’t hold back anymore. Something had to be done, they couldn’t keep pretending forever.

“Niall it’s up to you,” Zayn said, after laying out the situation for everyone, “But if you think we’re just going to let you waltz back to him as if nothing had ever happened you’re sorely mistaken.”

“I know,” Niall sighed, running a hand through his hair. Beside him, Liam could feel him trembling, “I just – I just don’t know,”

“That’s okay,” Liam reassured him, his heart aching and wishing to do something to comfort Niall.

“I vote we rip his balls off and –“

“Louis…” Zayn warned, as Liam shot him a look, “Not helping,”

Louis held up his hand’s in surrender, “I’m just saying, it’s a viable offer.”

“After what he’s done it’s tempting,” Liam admitted quietly, “But we’re going to be lawful about this,”

Louis sighed dramatically, “Ugh fine, go ahead and be a spoil sport. But if you ever change your mind I know a guy who can make it look like an accident,”

“I’m kinda impressed,” Harry said, “You have a guy that can make ripped balls look like an accident? I’m impressed,”

“Yup,” Louis grinned, popping the ‘P’ cheerfully, he caught sight of the looks that Zayn and Liam were giving him “-Sorry” he leaned forward in his seat and caught Niall’s eyes, “So Nialler, first things first, you’re breaking up with Jake. Uh uh uh…” He waggled his finger at Niall when Niall opened his mouth to speak, “No arguments young man.” His brow furrowed, and his expression darkened, “After what he’s done don’t think for a second that we’re going to let you go back to him.”

Niall hung his head, “I know, it’s just… I don’t know… I don’t want to be with him… but I’m… I’m scared,” he put his head in his hands and it looked like he was sobbing, but when he raised his head again, he was fine. “I hate being like this,” he admitted.

“It’s fine,” Liam said soothingly, “You’re allowed to feel like this okay? And if you’re scared to break up with him in person we can do it for you if you want?”

Niall shook his head, “Thanks but… I think I want to tell him myself,” he looked around at all the lads and finding nothing but support continued, “Stand up to him you know?”

The others nodded, “Do you want us all to be with you?” Zayn asked, “Or do you want to do this yourself?”

“Um maybe just a couple of you?” Niall asked hesitantly, his eye flickered around nervously as if afraid of giving the wrong answer. “Maybe not Louis?” He flicked a glance at Louis and laughed nervously, “Sorry Lou, but you’re kind of a bit hot-headed,”

Louis flashed Niall a reassuring smile, “It’s fine mate, to be honest, just looking at him makes me murderous so it’s probably a wise choice,”

Niall smiled back gratefully and feeling slightly bolder, “So maybe just Zayn and Harry?” It was phrased as a question but everyone took it for the statement that it should have been.

“Right that’s settled then,” Liam forced a grin, feeling slightly hurt he hadn’t been chosen cause surely Niall knew that Liam was there to support him no matter what? Deep down though, he knew it was probably a good thing, whilst he wasn’t making it public knowledge like Louis and Zayn, he was just as eager as them to make Jake pay for hurting Niall.

“Do you want to press charges?” Harry asked, but Niall quickly shook his head and a small sob escaped his lips, “No, no I don’t want to press charges. I don’t want anyone to know,” Another sob escaped him and Liam couldn’t help but envelop the other boy in a hug. Niall tensed, but then all the tension fell away and Niall sobbed onto Liam’s shoulder.

Slowly one by one the other lads joined in until it became a massive group hug.

“There there Niall, it’s alright,”  
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do okay?”  
“He’s going to pay for this I promise,”  
“You’re safe now,”

Eventually Niall pulls away and wipes the last tears out of his eyes. “Thanks guys,” he whispers, “I’m sorry,”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Liam says.

And he means it.

**Niall, Harry and Zayn**

_And we're not speaking,_   
_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?_

They wait until later in the day when Jake comes over for Niall to break up with him.

Zayn suspects it’s easier for Niall to do it on familiar territory, there’s something about the room that him and Jake used to share that he doesn’t want to face and that’s fine. It makes it easier to hide Liam and Louis in another room, ears pressed against the door, encase Jake trys to cause trouble.

Niall doesn’t know about that part of the plan, and hopefully he doesn’t have to.

They’re in the middle of some stupid t.v. show that Zayn’s pretty sure nobody’s paying attention too when there’s a heavy banging on the door before it swings open and Jake waltz’s in like he owns the places.

All three of them get up, and Harry subtily texts Louis and Liam that he’s here. It feels almost melodramatic as they face down Jake. Niall’s quaking in his shoes, but he knows he has to do this. Zayn and Harry are there with him and they’ll see him through it, but it’s something he has to do.

“Niall baby, how are you feeling?” Jake asks, and it’s so sincere it could almost fool Zayn and Harry. But not now. Not anymore.

“F-fine,” Niall says softly, from where he stands with Zayn and Harry either side of him,

“Great,” Jake says, grabbing Niall’s wrist and pulling him towards him. “Thanks lads for looking after him, but I think I can take it from here,”

Niall took a deep breath, gathered all his strength and pulled his wrist out of Jakes grasp. “No.” he said taking a step back so that Zayn and Harry were right behind him again.

Immediately Jake’s eyes narrowed, and a dark look swept across his face. But as quickly as it came it was gone and his features were just confused, “What’s going on?” he asked his eyes darting from Niall, to Harry, to Zayn and then back again, “Babe you don’t live here anymore, you live with me.”

“I’m moving back in with the lads,” Niall said surprised with how bold his words came out, “And I’m – I’m breaking up with you,”

“What?” Jake said, and was it just Harry or did the room drop two degress colder, “Baby you don’t know what you’re saying,”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” Niall’s voice was softer, less bold. He could feel Jakes anger simmering under the surface and rolling in waves towards him. “I broke a rib not my head. Jake, we’re over,”

“You don’t want to do this. Are they putting you up to it?” Jake’s eyes flickered over to Zayn and Harry. _I’m going to make you regret this later_ they seemed to say to Niall _You should know better than anyone what happens to those who say ‘no’ to me_.

A heavy hand rested on Niall’s shoulder and it wasn’t until that moment when Niall juped that he realised how much he was shaking. “I think Niall’s made it quite clear, he’s breaking up with you,” Zayn spoke calmly, “We haven’t put him up to anything. He decided this on his own,”

“Stay out of this,” Jake snapped, just for a second his rage simmering to the surface where he couldn’t hide it from Zayn and Harry. He put a hand up and rubbed it through his hair and his face went back to the calm expression he had worn before, “I’m sorry, this is just a bit of a shock,” he took a step forward but stopped when Niall flinched back, “Let’s discuss this privately, obviously theres some stuff we need to sort out,” _Obviously there’s some things I need to beat into you._

“Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of the lads,”

“Niall-“

“He’s not going with you,” Harry said forcefully, “Whatever you have to say to him you can say to us too,”

“Well, excuse me, but I think Niall and I’s relationship is none of your business,” Jake growled.

“I actually think it is our business,” Zayn’s eyes flashed coldly, “And if that’s all you have to say, then I kindly suggest you get out of our room,”

“Fine,” Jake snapped, grabbing Niall’s wrist and tugging him forwards harshly, but Zayn quickly interveneed and stepped in between the two.

“Niall’s not going anywhere with you anymore,”

“That’s not for you to decide,” Jake tried to reach around Zayn but again, was blocked.

“I think it is,”

Jake paused for a moment and his eyes narrowed, Niall could almost see the cogweels in his brain turning. Suddenly his mouth twisted, “What kind of stories have you been telling this time Niall?”

“Not stories,” Harry correcte, “The truth,”

“You know what,” Jake said throwing his hands up in frusterations frusteration because he couldn’t beat Niall into submissiveness like normal a part of Harry though rebelliously, “If you’re going to be pathetic like this than fine, go. It’s not like you were great at sex anyway,”

Zayn just saw red.

He’d been able to keep his anger in check for most of the night, while Jake had faked, and pushed and subtilly made digs at Niall but this… this Zayn couldn’t tolerate. After everything Niall had told them, after everything Jake did to him, to know Niall had been raped and more than once by Jake and then to hear Jake say that Niall was terrible at sex… it was too much…

So while Niall burst into tears in Harry’s arms, Zayn had Jake pinned against the wall, his face in Jakes personal space, “You’re a bastard, Jake,” he spat, “We know what you did and we’re going to send you to hell for it,”

To Zayn’s surprise Jake laughed and he realised he’d been baited. “Did I hit a soft spot?” He taunted, throwing Zayn’s arms off him with ease, “Don’t like that I’ve been hitting and fucking him right under you nose do you? Does it annoy you to know that while you were busy hating him I was busy breaking him!” And he threw himself forward into Zayn who stumbled back before fighting back with vigor of his own.

“Louis! LOUIS!” Harry yelled, cradleing Niall too his chest who only sobbed harder at the noise of fighting.

Within seconds Liam and Louis burst into the room and quickly manage to separate Zayn and Jake (but not without Louis getting in a few sneaky hit of his own). While Liam worked to getting Zayn to come back to his senses.

Despite being restrained and beaten Jake smirked when he saw Liam. “Did you tell them Niall?” he asked, causing Niall to freeze and start shaking in Harry’s arms, “Did you tell them that you begged me to stop. Told me he was a virgin even!”

Liam and Zayn froze and turned simotaniously towards Jake, Louis grip tightened.

“I’d stop talking if I were you,” Louis hissed, yanking roughly on Jakes arms.

Jake only smirked more, “Don’t like what you’re hearing?” he taunted, “Don’t you want to know how I broke your boy while you all called him a slut and turned your backs?”

Liam’s hands curled into tight fists and his jaw locked, “he used to fight back you know, but eventually he learnt it was futile and then he just lay there and cried,”

A loud sob distracted them. Liam only caught a flash of blonde and a curly mop before Harry and Niall disappeared into another part of the hotel. Jake laughed.

“Did he tell you what happened in the end?” Jake asked laughing at their faces.

“I suggest you stop talking,” Liam said lowly.

Jake ignored him, “-When he stopped fighting back, I started making him enjoy it. The look on his face…” he laughed “It was glorious!”

“I swear to God if you don’t shut up-“

“Then I really turned him into a slut, with a few words and a hearty slap, I can have him begging me to fuck him-“

Anything else he might have said was cut off, as Liam punched him in the mouth. Louis held Jake still while Liam beat him until Jakes legs collapsed and then Louis let him fall to the floor and him and Zayn joined in.

And when they were done, Louis and Zayn threw Jake into the hotel corridor and Liam went off to comfort Niall. 

It was time to fix the damage they’d done.

**Liam and Niall**

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,_   
_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now._

After everything that happened with Jake, Liam struggled to leave Niall alone. This deep innate fear in him that if he turned his back for one second, Jake would bust in and hurt Niall again; whilst unrealistic was too strong a feeling for Liam to ignore easily. Eventually, senseing Niall and Liam needed some alone time the lads left them too it. Which Liam was more than greatful for.

Niall lay curled in his arms, still shaking from the events that transpired earlier. Liam had no idea where Louis, Zayn, and Harry were but a dark part of him hoped that they were giving Jake more of what he deserved.

“Hey Li?” Niall said softly, squirming in Liams arms.

Liam looked down at the blonde, “Yeah Ni?”

“Um,” Niall bit his lip, “Thank you for um everything,”

Liam shook his head, “You don’t have to thank me Niall, you know I’d do anything for you,”

“I know,” Niall sighed and the pair of them elapsed into silence.

Night was falling, and the temperature of the hotel room was slowly dropping, but Liam was reluctant to dislodge Niall and turn the temperature up.

“Have you told your family?” Liam asked softly after a few more minutes of silence.

Niall shook his head, “I just told them the fan story.” He pulled away from Liam a little and stared vacantly at the blank wall, “Pa’ll just worry ya know? And Ma’ll want to jump on the first plane over here to make sure I’m alright and I just – I just don’t know if I can handle that right now,”

Liam nodded, he could understand that, and Greg would probably would want his own round with Jake. But by the time the lads were through with Jake themselves Liam doubted there would be much of him left for another round with Greg and Greg didn’t need that kind of disappointment in his life.

They continued to sit in silence Niall staring at the wall and Liam staring at Niall. Eventually Liam was forced to get up and turn the temperature up. When he returned Niall spoke again.

“I’m sorry for breaking up with you,”

Liam blinked with surprise not really expecting the apology, with a slight shrug he brushed it off, “It’s fine… mate,” When Niall shot him a strange look he continued “I mean I’m not happy cause it hurt like hell and I don’t fully understand why you did it but… its in the past now,”

Niall nodded and he looked like he was about to start stareing at the wall again so Liam hesitantly asked the question that had been burning in his mind since Niall had admitted he’d broken up with Liam was because of Jake… “Did you mean it when you said you didn’t love me anymore?”

Niall’s head turned so quickly that Liam thought he might’ve given himself wiplash, “I never stopped loving you,” Niall said quietly that Liam almost didn’t hear him, “I love you so much… but we can’t be together,”

“Why not?” Liam asked, ignoring the stab of pain in his heart, “If it’s because you think I don’t love you, I still do Ni. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you.

Niall shook his head, “It’s not that its-“ he shook his head again and stared back at the wall, “You wouldn’t understand,”

“Then tell me,” Liam begged, “Make me understand, Ni I love you and I want to make this work,”

“But you shouldn’t!” Niall yelled, so suddenly Liam jumped, “You shouldn’t love me, I’m dirty and disgusting and… and… and tainted! I let him abuse me and r-rape me! I’m ruined Liam and you’re so good and pure and perfect. You don’t deserve someone who’s as disgusting as I am,”

“Ni- you’re not disgusting-“

“Don’t,” Niall interrupted, “Just don’t okay?”

“Niall what happened wasn’t your fault. He forced himself on you!”

“Well maybe I could have faught harder or never gone into that store… I don’t know! Just… You deserve someone so much better than me Li, and I know you can’t see that, but you do. I’m… I’m like a walking tragedy theres like this thing inside me and all it does is destroy and… and… I don’t want it to destroy you too,”

“None of that matters, to me,” Liam said softly, his heart breaking more and more with every word Niall said, “I love you. Love triumphs everything Ni,”

“Not this time it doesn’t,” Niall said softly standing up, “Love can’t triumph love. I’m going to bed,” and he left before Liam could say anything more.

He left Liam sitting on the staring at the wall Niall had found so fasinating and sighed. They used to be the cutest couple, one that was meant to last or ‘the lucky ones’ as Harry and Louis joked. Yet here they were and Niall and Liam were bearly speaking. One tornado had swept inbetween them and destroyed them.

“Liam where’s Niall?” Harry asked making Liam jump. He hadn’t even noticed that the other three had returned.

“Gone to bed.” Was all he replied.

“You okay mate?” Louis asked.

Liam shook his head, “We’re a tragedy,” he said as he was enveloped into a pile of warm arms, “Niall, me,” he laughed bitterly and somewhat insanely, “Hell, all of us. We’re just a flipping tragedy that’s what we are,”

Nobody said anything, but the embrace that surrounded him only got tighter.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all guys :) Thanks for all the wonderful comments and kudos you guys are all amazing! Sorry it's not the ending most of you probably wanted, but I'm more than happy to explain why Niam didn't get back together if you want...
> 
> Have a great day!


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